


February

by JDBeckett



Series: 365 Prompts [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 36,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDBeckett/pseuds/JDBeckett





	1. Find the Solution

Quentin was right when he gave me this book. I guess I should have thought about it but I was too shaken by the sight of that guy dying. I gave him a journal so he could write in it, try to get his emotions out on paper so that he would get better after letting it out. I didn't realize that it was the kind of solution that would work for me too. I'm more than grateful for the journal he's given me and it is absolutely beautiful to boot. I don't usually write though, so it's been a little difficult to get started on that whole writing out my emotions bits.

The first few pages of the book are actually scribbles but when I look at them I do see the scene that has burned itself into my memories. The man on the ground, the blood, while I know I was a distance off, I still saw his eyes, I saw the desperation in them and it made me ache for this stranger I didn't know. I saw the terrible sadness that was surfacing as he realized he was dying and that there wouldn't really be anyone to be there for him.

A small, tiny little part of me wanted to rush out there to help him or at least hold him until he was gone so he wouldn't have to die alone but I couldn't. I think I was seeing Sterling all over again and that might just be what left the biggest mark on me.

I did manage to start writing though. Not whole pages or even paragraphs. But a few words here, a few words there. A sentence at the end of that page there. Little things. Bits and pieces. I have an easier time of expressing myself in art. Drawing, painting, sculpting I've realized recently. I can open up about myself most of the time too, talk away. I can sing some but I mostly get my points across with artistic things.

  


He's settled into the habit of sleeping next to me. I can't say how grateful I am. His presence next to me pulls me mind at ease. I still see things but they're not as bad, not as bloody and not as troubling. I don't wake up screaming anymore. On one side of me right now is Quentin, asleep or so I figure by his slow and steady breathing, the lift and drop of his chest. On the other side, I have Areli, Lavi is curled at my feet and I feel my lips curl slightly at the corners. What a big, hold-together-in-time-of-need family we are. This is so comforting. Though I'm honestly not so sure the cats are here because they feel that I need the comfort but it's warming anyway.

Quentin though. I could cry for how happy, how warm it makes me inside when he does these little things. I don't think he even realizes them. He doesn't stray far but still lets me have my freedom, my peace of mind. He doesn't prod to have details about my dreams and my nightmares, he lets me open up on my own. He helps with little things here and there that usually I would do just fine on my own but I'm grateful for the help this time around.

He's been tending to the garden in that one area that I don't feel I can go to just yet and he's doing a wonderful job of it. It helps that the area in question is all flowers that only need a little looking over. The watering is automatic but there needs a bit of pruning now and again and he's been doing a beautiful job. Even more beautiful is when he brought down a bouquet of some of the flowers from the garden. Just one of each type and only the ones that were strong and had more than one stem. It was a simple sort of thing but the thought was so touching that I did cry when he offered it to me. He got scared then, afraid he'd done something wrong but I explained to him that these tears were of overwhelming thankfulness.

  


I shift just slightly, I turn to look at him, to brush some hair from his face and he doesn't budge. I'm glad he sleeps so peacefully out of his own bed. I recall our outing to that bed and breakfast and I know that he wasn't all that comfortable sleeping in a strange bed though he never said anything about it. My strong weaver demon. I think you could control the whole world if you really wanted but I know you won't. Not your kind of thing and I guess you don't even know your ancestry that well. There's nearly none of your kind left. People were so afraid that they killed and killed and killed until they thought all were gone but a few remained. I don't know if you're pure blood or not, hard to imagine you might be all things considered and I wonder what your other demon-side is. In time we might just find out.

I settle my head against his shoulder, nestling a little closer and I feel his arm pull my closer. Butterflies flutter at the warmth I feel at the simpleness things and I close my eyes. Yes, I still see terrible things when I close my eyes but it has gotten better. His presence is helping me keep my sanity close at hand and it makes me fall even deeper in love with him. I don't know where I might be at this point in my life if we hadn't met the way we have. If he hadn't seen my graffiti, if he hadn't sought me out. I'm more than glad for it all, I can't even begin to explain any of it.

  


I know I drift off at some point but when I feel him stirring slightly next to me and partly beneath me, my lashes flutter and I blink at him a bit. I'm not sure what time it is, the curtains are drawn shut, the boys have wandered off, likely to sleep in their own bed (they love that thing to death, it's right by the window and they just huddle in there) and it's still dark in my room. I lift myself slightly to look down at him and he just smiles sweetly at me and pulls me back down against him. 

"You still look tired, sleep a bit more. This is comfortable." I guess it is quite comfortable, the room is just cool enough, the air conditioning is so silent that I can't tell when it runs or not. It's a recent addition but a really welcomed one. I don't think we could have slept next to one another this way if it hadn't been there. The air had been sticky and uncomfortable but now it was cool and nice.

He tugs me a little closer still yet and I just kiss his cheek before I nestle against his shoulder and sigh, hoping I can manage a bit more rest without any nightmares. The last few hours had been very, so very peaceful. My first peaceful rest in a little while and I want a bit more of it. I think the way things are now just what the doctor would have ordered. I can adapt.


	2. It is Red

Yael really has a way with this garden, it's amazing. It hasn't been that long, about three months really and things are just growing and growing. It makes me wonder if he doesn't have himself the magic touch or something. I mean I don't really believe in that stuff but still. It could be in his roots though. I mean, I figure that if kids can have parents of different colours, we demons can have parents of different gifts. At times I think about what my parents were, I know one of them was a weaver, whatever that means, but what if the other was something else? I really don't know.

With him though, if his parents weren't of the same gift, I'd have to guess one of them had a gift relating to nature and the other one relating to art in most of its forms. He's still such a mystery to me. It's interesting to slowly unravel the mysteries that make him who he is. Learning a little bit more about him every day as I know he does with me. This is a learning experience for us both and it's a good sort of thing. We couldn't complain about life, it has gotten better.

He's had less nightmares over the past week more and I'm more than glad for that. I don't know if he wants me to go back to my own bed but I will if he asks me to. I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries or to stay past my welcome. It is his room after all.

  


I went up into the garden today, while he was showering. I hadn't been in about a month—beyond when I went to the wild flower section to prepare him a bouquet—because things have just been really busy and I was curious to see how things were coming along. 

A lot faster than I had thought is how they were coming along and you can colour me more than a little surprised. Little Japanese maples that I'd helped him set up, they'd only been at my knees and now they were almost at my chest. Tomato plants full with ripening fruits in another section, cucumbers, salads. Even some sunflowers.

What caught my attention however was a deeply red patch on the mezzanine. Though at first, from below, it had mostly looked red, when I made it up there, it was red and pink and some purple, cream and violet and some other colours I hadn't actually expected to see in rose bushes. I hadn't been to the mezzanine at all since he'd set it up. Something about him stating it was off limits for the time being. I'm not really surprised. I can see and believe that these were meant as a surprise and they're gorgeous. I think I can turn the surprise on him though.

He takes really long showers, especially lately. They help him relax and I know he needs all the relaxation in the world. So I look in the little mock-shed that was set up on the main floor and I find the clippers. I'm not going to cut anything down to oblivion, that's not my thing and I would ruin it all, no, my little plan is much simpler and the image is clear as day in my mind's eye as I climb back up the stairs, my lips quirking to a pleased smile beyond my control. I want him happy and I recall how he had reacted to the last bouquet.

The roses I select are those that are just barely beginning to bloom, petals mostly still curled securely. I only take one or two of the bigger plants, the ones I know won't really miss the missing extras and it won't even show on the bushes themselves. I find myself glad I had taken the gloves along because the thorns on these are very present and I can feel them trying to prick me through the gloves.

Once I'm done with my selection, I'm sure I nearly have a dozen if not almost two in my arms and I make my way back downstairs carefully. I listen intently at the door before going anywhere and I can still hear the water but I figure he's almost done. I almost rush to the kitchen to find one of those long vases and I carefully snip the end of the stems and I set them to water, adding that small package of nutrients he keeps not far. I want these to last as long as possible.

I take the vase and slowly start on my way back to his room, careful of where I was going since I couldn't really much see in front of me. I stop outside his door and I listen again. The water is off but I can hear him in his bathroom and not in his room yet so I step in, set the flowers down on his desk and I go back off to put away the clippers and the gloves, then to my room to finally change into something more fit for the rest of whatever we'll do for our day.

When I finally step back towards his room, I stop in the doorway and lean against the frame lightly. He's staring at the bouquet, eyes wet, one hand over his mouth. I walk in and I just hug him tightly to myself. He sniffles and turns to cling. This is something I welcome more than my mind really realizes. My body craves these simple moments. This is a good cling though and it's even more important. His tears of happiness wet my shoulder and I let them, just hugging him as tightly as I can to me.

"I know you said the area was off limits but when the red caught my eyes I was mesmerized so I went and had a look… looking at them all, the only coherent thought in my mind was that you deserved all that beauty and even more. I cut the stems the way you taught me how and even gave them that feeder powder thing you keep with the rest of the garden stuff here on the first floor."

His arms tighten about me and I breathe a sweet sigh of content. This is life in a way I can appreciate. It's not like I went out of my way to get him that bouquet, it's a simple thing and I can continue to offer him these gifts on a daily basis if it's what it takes. I'm pretty sure he won't even be thinking about the dead man today. That might just be what I have to do. Small, simple things like these.

"This is wonderful, Quentin, thank you." His words are a little choked and he sniffles sharply, screwing his eyes shut. A moment later he laughs, a soft, slightly tearful sort of laughter and I chuckle in turn. When he straightens, I wipe his cheeks clean and I kiss him ever softly. I had intended for a simple peck but he kisses me back and I'm more than happy to let him have this lead. If this is what he needs then I'm more than happy to give it to him. I'd bare myself to him utterly if it was what he needed.

I wonder, is that what it's like to love someone? I can admit the words to myself right now. Before too long I might just be able to tell him how I really feel without the fear that I may not be completely honest with him.

His lips become a little more insistent and I feel something melt inside me. I could almost survive on kissing him alone, I think. Love and water. I'm hopeless, I'm aware. It's how he shifts and tugs me back towards his bed however, lips not leaving mine, that startle me back to the surface and I can't help but wonder what he has in mind.


	3. Something You Heard Your Friend Say

"Wait, he said what?"

"I'm not sure, something about an accident or a flood or something."

"Who was that again?"

"Eoghan, you know? I told you about him, we met him a couple of times in the past while we were out buying our groceries. He moved into my old apartment."

"Okay, alright, start over. Eoghan said what?"

"I don't know for sure, he sounded out of breath, or maybe he was pissed or miffed or something. He said something about how the apartment couldn't be lived in for the time being and he asked if he could live here for a little bit."

"To which you told him?"

"That I'd talk to my boyfriend about it and see what he thought about it."

"Oh!"

"So, what do you think?"

"Well... we only have two bedrooms and we're using them."

"There's the empty room where I set up my card pyramid."

"You think you're ready to take it down?"

"Well, he needs a roof for a while and he's not a bad guy. It's not the most comfortable of rooms. There is a small bathroom out there by the cats' room so he wouldn't need to come into our bedrooms to clean up and whatnot."

"Is he like us?"

"I'm not sure, I'm pretty sure he is though."

"I guess we do attract those who are like us. I don't much recall meeting him, to be honest but I guess it can't hurt to offer him something to have over his head while whatever happened at his apartment gets fixed. He knew your landlady was a wicked old woman why did he move in there?"

"Not sure. Something about it being closer to his work place or some rot. He knew the apartment was comfortable enough, he'd just have to deal with her once a month or whenever she saw fit to complain about everything and nothing."

"Well I trust your judgment on his presence with us. I wish I could recall you telling me about him before though."

"He'll be harmless, I promise. If anything happens I'll boot him out faster than you can yell my name out in frustration."

"I suppose that's one way to look at things, it's comforting to know you'd at least do that much for me."

"Well, for how much you do mean to me, your safety and your health are important to me and I wouldn't want to put you in any danger. Plus, we have two guard cats, they've hissed at strangers they didn't like before and if they don't like Eoghan, they'll let us know. I'll just have to try to help him find somewhere else to live at for that time frame, until he either finds another place or the apartment is livable again. I'm hoping on the former for his sanity."

"Alright, well you get in touch with him however it is you two talk and I'll make sure everything in that extra bathroom is usable. Wouldn't do to have something that's gone rank because we never use that place."

"I'll call him and tell him he can drop by when he wants. We can go over the house rules with him when he comes in. I'll tell him to bring in something to sleep on since there's nothing in that room. We do have curtains on the windows though, right?"

"No, we don't but I know someone who can make some pretty sweet curtains without too much of an issue so that's not a problem, anything else?"

"Har. Not that I can think of at this point so we're all set."

  


"So this is Eoghan. Eoghan, this is Yael, my ever significant other that I will maim you to the end of the galaxy and back if you think of hurting."

"Whoa man, easy. I can play nice, I didn't come here to start a war, honestly."

"Don't mind him, he's sweetly over protective. By stepping in and not being clawed to oblivion by Areli and Lavi, you've officially been welcomed as a good soul, so it's a pleasure to meet you. I'll show you to your room. It isn't much, it was one of our unused rooms. It's been dusted and there should be no bunnies scrambling about to try and suffocate you in your sleep. I don't know if Quentin has told you but we have somewhat strange sleeping habits in that we don't really sleep at steady hours. We'll usually be up and about in the darker hours and rest during the day."

"Now that's a bit better, jeez, Quentin, don't bite my ass. I'm a good guy. Not here to steal anyone away. It's nice to meet you, Yael. Unused room is fine by me, I didn't meant to be in the way. The tenant who lives above me screwed with his water pipes and a good portion of his floor caved and my apartment is a mess. I've lost most of what I owned in terms of furniture but it's just stuff that can be replaced."

"Harsh, I'm sorry but I guess it's for the better, you really have to get out of that building anyway. That woman is crazy, I tell you."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it and looking, I just need to find a quiet spot. Anything around this place?"

"Well there is the apartment building just next door it was renovated last spring or so. I'm pretty sure they're open to new tenants. You could have a look after you've had some rest, come this way."

"Might not be a bad idea. This is a really quiet neighbourhood."

"Not so much in the terms of neighbours, honestly. So this is the main room, the living room. On this side you have the hallway leading to Quentin's side of the home, if you would. On this side is mine. Down this hallway we have the doors leading to the cats' room, the pool though we keep that door closed to make sure the cats don't go in there by accident. Then just here we have the room. I moved in one of my empty dressers so you'd have at least some room for your clothes."

"That's awful kind of you, thank you. Wow, those curtains are beautiful."

"I set them up."

"Quentin made them. He's too modest. He has quiet a way with fabric, don't you think? If you don't have a mattress, I'm sure we can head off to a store somewhere to find you something comfortable to sleep on."

"That shouldn't be necessary, I stopped on my way and got one of those inflatable things. I'm not sure how comfortable it'll be but it can't be worse than the mattress I slept on before."

"If you need bed sheets though, I know we can spare some of those."

"I'd be grateful thank you."

"Everything that's in the fridge is good to be eaten though if you take the last of something it'd be good if you could note it down. We tend to bring groceries in every week or so, depends on the weather and the bus hours."

"I have my own car, it's parked up front at the moment-"

"You can move it to the side of the building if you want, I don't mind."

"Okay, as I was saying, I have my own car so if you guys need rides to places while I'm around, I don't mind."

"I think we'll all get along fine. I'll help you look into the apartments next door when you'll feel like it."

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate all of this."


	4. Trained to Do It

"How did you ever manage that?" He sounds incredulous, I'm not really sure what he's going on about at this point, really. He popped in to my studio, more than likely to ask me about something but obviously there has been some side tracking.

"Manage what?" I look back to him, curiosity plain as day on my face and he points towards Areli, in the process of… bringing me the newspaper? Well that's new.

"That?" He's seconds from laughing at the scene, I can tell and I admit it's funny in its way. We don't usually get the newspaper, must be something Eoghan brought in with when he came to settle here a week ago. His search for a new apartment is going well though and I admit I might just miss the guy once he'll be gone.

"I have no idea, Quentin. Maybe Eoghan trained him to do it." Well it sounds plausible. If it's not me or him, it has to be our little extra. Though he's not so little. He's almost a head taller than me and that makes him almost intimidating in my book. I don't focus much on it, he's been nothing but gentle since he stepped here, looking half-pissed at the world though that melted off his face when he stepped in.

"He's been here all of a week and you want me to believe he somehow managed to train this playful ball of fur to fetch the newspaper?" I can only shrug at him at this point though he laughs and shakes his head. It sounds like a crazy idea but that did look exactly to be the case. It usually is Lavi who brings us toys for us to fling out for him. He adores fetching. Areli not so much. While he has as much energy as his brother, he's a bit more laid back. He prefers to scratch at his posts, climb and laze in the sun when he has a chance.

Quentin drops lightly on my extra chair, merely looking for a distraction at this point and I let it be. I guess he's bored. He looks up to my painting and blinks before his cheeks take on that lightly rose colour that I've begun to really appreciate on him. He's adorable when he blushes and he denies doing it when it's mentioned. It only makes him blush more visibly. Of course I don't tease him long about it else he starts to get a bit miffed and then, well then things aren't really all that interesting anymore.

"You've been working on that long?" He eyes the painting a moment more, as if he's studying it and I shrug with a soft laugh. Longer than I'd care to admit and it's just one of those things I'm not digging a hole for myself yet with.

"It spent a long time being a sketch on the canvas. I didn't dare to work on it while you were awake or around to see it because I was afraid you'd think me a freak for wanting to do this." After all, it was the painting I'd been focused on for a while, trying to add to it whenever he wasn't about. He's about most of the time.

A simple painting of him but the clothes are different, the surroundings are different, as if he was from another era. I can't really explain why I think it fits him better this way, it just does. As if he was born in the wrong time frame for this planet. There's not a lot we can do about that at this point and not a lot I'd want to do. I want him with me and that's not going to change.

I look at the bit of paint drying on my hand for a moment before I turn my gaze to him. "I was thinking we could go to the museum one of these days, would that be alright for an outing? We would go either just the two of us or if you want, we could ask Eoghan to come with. I bet it'd relax him. I think he's been dealing with his landlady from here, he's been stressed."

It's hard not to know about what's going on under my own roof. It's not a small house, we all have a lot of room but I've heard the poor guy pace in his temporary room. I've heard him mumble under his breath and mutter and just… he doesn't look rested. As a friend, I'd like to make sure he at least gets some sleep and some time away from everything that stresses him out for a while if I can help it.

Quentin blinks and cants his head, looking from the painting to me and back again. He's silent for a while and I think I might have said something I shouldn't have before he smiles and nods. "That could actually be really nice. I don't know about Eoghan, he looks stressed as hell and I guess I was that way too before I moved out of that apartment. I'll bring it up to him in a while. That and I'll have to ask about the newspaper thing. It's so weird."

He let me be after that. I got myself a kiss and I was more than eager to return it. We hadn't really shared any affection in a few days. I guess we both feel a little strange with Eoghan around, it's just such a new sort of thing, it's hard to adapt so quickly but it's not so bad.

  


As it turns out, it isn't even Eoghan who taught Areli to do the newspaper bit. He woke up yesterday morning to the little fur monster just dragging that bundle of news away. I don't know whether to be amused or baffled. I only want to laugh at the mental image of waking up to a cat dragging away my newspaper. The image is more amusing than it should rightfully be.

We will also be going to the museum, he's agreed to take us and said he could do with some time away from everything that is every day life. He promised to leave his phone in his room since he didn't expect any calls other than from the crazy one who had been hounding him about something or other, he wouldn't say just yet. I'm not about to pry to get him to open up about something if he doesn't want to talk about it. That's not how things are supposed to work out, in the end.

I quite like him. He's easy to talk to and he's a gentle presence, despite his height. Who knows, I might just be able to learn a little more about him before he moves next door. Then again, if he does move next door, we might have a chance at becoming more than just acquaintances. That could be nice. I adore and love Quentin to no end, but at times I know I need to speak to other folks, to welcome new souls into my life. So this is a good experience for both Quentin and I and I'd like to think we'll be good for Eoghan.


	5. An Issue You Care About

"That poor forest, they're going to destroy it at this rate. It's just so sad. I swear, by the time either one of us is old enough to be senile if that'll ever happen, this planet will have no greenery left anywhere. We'll all be eating food created out of stuff we can't pronounce and it'll taste like nothing. Or worse, all food will be liquid items that'll have all the vitamins and whatnot that humans need to survive and this place will be like a big block of rock and metal with nothing green, no colour and no joy to being alive."

"Well that was deep, where did that come from?" I have to ask. I mean I don't live here anymore but I still spend some time here when I'm not at work. That and they do invite me over so it's not like I'm overstaying my welcome. It helps to be living right next door. It's spacious enough and it's comfortable. It doesn't have the crazy but interesting antics of cats dragging newspapers around and the voice of other people but I'm used to living on my own though before too long I should have a roommate. Aside the point all of this I'm aware.

"Just look at this!" Ah, he's been watching these documentaries he got his hands on while I was still here, about the earth as a whole, how humans are more or less abusing it and taking all they want. Some more than others of course but I can see where he's coming from. When I was younger, I grew up in a small village in the middle of nowhere. We only took what we needed and we ate what we could grow. That was such a long time ago though. I've seen what humans can do to a world. While they might think it's beautiful and it's perfect, all that technology, without some nature left to take care of them, they'll destroy this planet before too long. I have my own plan for when they ruin it all beyond the possibility of salvage. 

Only a few folks will be informed of that plan, three at this point but who knows if others might come to be added over the years. I've been alive for more than two hundred years and only recently have I found folks worth the time, so I don't know. 

Poor Yael looks absolutely outraged though and it amuses me in some way. I know I shouldn't be amused in this situation but I can't help it. His eyes go bright and they almost darken, his cheeks go red and he just looks ready to take on the whole world to protect his little bit of green. Quentin mostly looks put off, uncertain. I think Yael is more the type to go out into the world and worry about things, Quentin is still adapting to the fact that there is a world out there beyond this city and Siberia.

"Well, humans are like that. Not all of them, that's generalizing but a lot of them are like that sadly. They'll just take and take without ever thinking of giving back. There's not a lot you can do. There are some places in the world that have been spared that kind of civilization growth but the more time passes, the more they destroy everything green that surrounds them. I've been alive too long at this point and I've seen a few different species die out. Trees, animals, bugs. You name it. You'd think that once they'll have ruined this planet, they'll go out in space to find another new place to live on."

By the look on both their faces, I can't help but laugh a little. "Okay, you've both been living under rocks, I forgot about that. Sorry. These folks, they've been out to space, I thought some of the footage from the documentary would give that away. They do show the planet from face."

"I hadn't realized- I mean I thought they had stuff out there that could just take photos and stuff without people and just…" "You're adorable." He flushes brightly and Quentin gives me the evil eye. These guys are fun to tease though I don't push too far, that wouldn't be right. "Folks have been on the moon, or so they claim in any case. Who knows, they might manage some space travel one of these days that'll be available for the common folks and not just the high folks who studied a lot or have a lot of money. What I'm saying is that they've damaged this planet more in the recent decades and centuries than any other human ever had in the billion of years past."

"So… it's a lost cause?" Quentin is trying to wrap his mind about the situation it seems. He pulls Yael to him and I'm not really surprised to see that his eyes are wet. They're so innocent to the world as a whole. I suppose it comes from how they were raised.

  


It took some hours to explain things to them in terms that didn't have anyone pulling hair out by the roots. It wasn't easy but it was managed. Yael is still in a huff because he wants to save the world and I can understand where he's coming from but that might just now be manageable. Still I guess it is sweet in its own way. Quentin just wants to do whatever he needs to make Yael happy and I can tell that they've changed one another for the better.

I'll be bringing that documentary back home with me, I think. Save them the ache of watching the planet slowly be destroyed over and over again. I'll exchange it for that pack of documentaries I have that essentially visit the planet, yes, but show its natural beauties without really talking about how it's all slowly being lost to the greed of mortal men.

These two, I can tell, will be a good addition to the mini family that will come with when I head back to the other realm. We'll more than likely be a little lonely but there's greeneries to the edge of everything, there are new species of things to discover, there are beasties out there though some are not friendly. Who knows, others might come in the long run, I'm not the only one who knows the way there after all. 

This is all a very long time coming however. Lex will be with us again soon, or with me any way as he comes back from his trip to I can't remember where, it's been almost twenty years since I last saw him. I think he'll like these two though their innocence might exasperate him a little at first. I was that way when we first met and he adapted really well to me. I know he can do it with these two. Plus, Quentin is of a really rare breed so I feel a bit of a need in keeping him safe. I can't read Yael enough to know of his origins but Quentin won't go anywhere without him and I have no issues with that. They're happy together, though obviously they're still discovering life that way.

It's all good for the soul. One day after the other.


	6. Country Field

"Remember how it looked from that window out at the bed and breakfast?"

"Hard to forget really, but this is better. It's more beautiful." To me it was, in any case. The sunrises at the bed and breakfast out in the country had us overlooking a beautifully blooming field. Here we mostly have houses and some greenery, trees and the sky with its cloud. "But only because you're with me."

He laughs and presses his face against my neck. I can feel how he warms up in a blush and I can't help but grin. I'd like to think I'm starting to have a hang of the way words are meant to really be spoken.

We've set up a couch on the mezzanine, not far from the rosebushes. There still had been a spot of unused area. It was right by the window so we set up a couch (I have to admit it took a lot of heavy lifting to get it up here but it's worth it!) and before we drift off to sleep, if we're both awake by that point, we come up here and watch the sunrise. I would have had to set things up differently if I had wanted the sunset but I think sunrise is as good.

Yesterday morning we drifted off together, just settled close and watching. Yael fell asleep first but he had been awake longer than I had been so it wasn't much of a surprise. He managed to watch most of the sunrise, the sun had half drifted to hide behind a bit of a cloud by the time I felt his breathing slow and steady against my shoulder. This is one of our new favourite hobbies. If it can be seen as a hobby in any case. We just sit and watch, we relax and appreciate what is left of nature.

It's a good make out spot too. I'm not sure how we got started on that but it sort of just happened, the day before yesterday mostly. We were just watching the play of colours and one hand started wandering. We missed most of the sunrise.

  


Things have changed somewhat since Eoghan moved into his own apartment, for the better I think. We both still have our own bedrooms but we rarely sleep in separate beds at this point. Depending on which one is closest at the moment or who went to sleep before the other, we'll settle in either one of the beds for the night and just wake up perfectly tangled come morning. It's comforting. Shower time is still mostly private and personal time though we've shared a shower last week. It was an interesting discovery. I'm just glad our heater doesn't really run out because we spent a lot of time in there.

Eoghan still spends time here now and again but he's been lately with his new roommate as of lately. I think his name is Lex. At least that's what I understood of that discussion. Must be short for something else or so I figure. He said something about how they've known one another for a few decades. I hadn't realized he was this old. I guess it's comforting to know that we're not alone here, Yael and me.

  


He nudges my chin with the top of his head lightly and I laugh, looking down at him with a quirked brow. "Off to who knows where land again, you're missing out on the best part."

I stick out my tongue, feeling no need to apologize and I settle my gaze back out the window. He is right though, this sunrise is particularly colourful. The last few days have been a little clouded over, this one isn't. His hand is on my thigh however and something warms up inside me, I'm fully aware that this is going to be one of those mornings and I welcome it wholeheartedly. It seems to do us both a world of good after all and I can't ask for more. I'm slowly putting my past behind me and this is helping me along.

  


We both decide on a shower once we're done watching the sunrise though we missed the last part of it, we were too busy invading one another's personal bubble. We shower in our separate bathrooms and it's fine by me. It helps me gather my thoughts back to a semblance of coherence. He makes me lose track of everything. I can't tell if it's good or bad. I could spend my whole life holding him against me and I would be more than pleased and happy for it.

Once I'm out of the shower, I dry up, locating some boxers and I move to my bed where I flop down with a yawn. It did turn out to be another wholly busy night for us and I know I'll sleep well and peacefully. Right as I'm straightening the pillows and pulling down the sheets about me, Yael steps into the room and closes the door. A habit we both picked up when Eoghan temporarily lived with us. He steps up to the bed and settles in without needing to be asked or told. I move just so and he nestles against me, his head finding my shoulder. It still is strange that he settles this way against me when he's taller than me. I think it's comforting honestly.

I press my lips to his forehead and close my eyes for a moment though I can't help but smile. My voice whisper soft as I offer the simple enough words, they come from the heart. "Anything out there could be beautiful if I'm with you but the most beautiful of all beings or things I've ever laid eyes on is you. The sunrise has nothing on you."

He blushes deeply and tries to hide his face against me. I laugh gently and simply hug him closer to my body. I can't help it. He's pulled free from its chains whatever muse might have been dormant in me. All I can utter when it comes to him sounds this corny to my ears but he blushes and hides every time so I think it's not all that corny.

I wiggle a little and tangle my legs with him as he finally settles his head back against my shoulder, his skin still warm and pink. "You're hopelessly sweet."

Honestly I didn't see myself as sweet, I still had a case of rage against the morons but they were so rare in my life lately that I guess I had more time for peace. "If you think I'm sweet then I'll be sweet just for you."

"Stop trying to make me explode, I've never blushed this much in my life!" He huffs playfully but closes his eyes. I know he's not asleep yet and my lips quirk into a somewhat playful grin. I know I'm about to set foot in his world just now and I'll be the one blushing to no end by the time we woke up in a few hours. 

"Well, I suppose you can show me more of those sketches you still hide from me, that you say are not 'proper' enough for my eyes to see. If they're as racy as you seem to think they are, then we both know I'm bound to be the one to blush." I can feel his lips curl to a grin and I know I've just doomed myself.

I can't really bring myself to complain about the idea.


	7. Take It Away

"You know, if they find it here, they'll take it away and more than likely kick us out. I just moved into this apartment, you don't want to be on the street so soon, do you?" I had a right to be uncomfortable. Not that I had issues with the kind of pets he kept about but I didn't want to end up on the streets and I didn't think Quentin and Yael would take both of us in on short notice, let alone with a snake that size. Not that it was that big to begin with but still, it wasn't small.

"Adela. Her name is Adela and she's a she. She's safe in her tank and that door is always closed. She's yet to get out and if we get kicked out we'll go back to live in Los Angeles." I guess twenty years apart makes one forget that their friend can be rather smug about things and about how they can afford to travel to places without much of an issue.

I roll my eyes with a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't want to go back to the states, Lex. I like it here, it's quiet and I've made friends with the pair of demons living in the renovated warehouse just next door. They're really nice and I think they could come with us when all of this world goes to shit, so I'd honestly like to stay here. It could be nice if you gave it a chance."

Alexis, or Lex for short, is a big shot attorney, he wins most every case that ever comes his way but as with most who don't age, it's hard to stay on the working floor for too long without significant changes to your looks or life else people start to wonder. Every few decades he changes his job, so to speak. Attorney, then he goes back to making chocolate then it's back to being a attorney and so forth. 

The thought of his going back to chocolate making makes me suddenly laugh and he gives me one of his patented looks, that 'what the hell are you thinking about now?' look. I snicker and shake my head, I can't help it. "I was just thinking about how it's about time for your life-change as is. I adore the chocolate you make, it's to dye for but I'll never be able to bring them any, unless you somehow can tone down the effect the stuff has on them. Yael doesn't eat any at all and Quentin can only have a piece before he goes on sugar overload."

From the look on his face, he still doesn't see whatever was funny in the thought I'd just had and I shrug sheepishly. Twenty years apart without really keeping in touch can weaken a few links but we'll get back up to par after a couple of months, it's usually how it works out. "I'll make sure Adela stays safe, I've had her too long to consider just abandoning her, you know how I feel about that."

Do I ever know how he feels about that. When I last was with him, he had a pet tarantula and when it died, he cried oh but he cried. It was heartbreaking to see him cry his heart out this way. I don't know why he keeps on getting new pets when the old one goes. I guess it's a need for company. Makes me wonder if I'm not enough.

"Now tell me more about these neighbours of ours and why you want to bring them into the realm when the mortal world goes to bat-shit." So I do tell him, about how I believe Quentin is part weaver if not whole. How I'm not sure as to what kind of demon Yael is but the tug is there in him. I can see they're connected. It's 'how' they're connected that I'm not sure about but it doesn't really matter. I just know that they shouldn't be separated.

"If he is a weaver he has to be kept safe. Everyone thinks they're gone and no more. If people find out there's at least one here and he's well and alive, they'll either be out for his blood to finish the job or they'll want to use him until he's drained empty. Neither options are good. I suppose he could fit in at the realm."

"I think he can take care of himself for the time being. There was an incident with where he was raised a year or so ago but from what I gathered form his mind, whoever did it has left him alone for the time being. This is another one of the reasons why I'm rather fond of the idea of staying here if I can help it. I swear these two have lived under rocks for most of their lives. Then again, most demons who aren't raised by their own do miss out on a lot of the information that's normally learned at a younger age. Now about Adela…"

As you can imagine, this is a conversation that went on for a while and Lex's solution, in the long run was both somewhat startling and amusing. He asked me if I wanted him to buy the building. He could easily enough. He had money in a few different but rather secure bank accounts that were, to the human eyes, handed down from father to son after a certain number of years. It's not a bad idea when you've lived long enough to amass a good enough fortune to keep going without even really needing to work. Still he does work, something about how it keeps him entertained, the money is only because it is a human necessity.

I guess his buying the building wouldn't hurt. We wouldn't have to worry about being evicted if someone found Adela here by accident. I could worry about the paper work and the tenants and everything else. I've had to do it before and I was looking to do something a bit different from the barista job I'd found. Barista during the day, part-time barman at night when I was needed. It's been relatively boring really.

I'll have to introduce Lex to the boys next door at one point. There's no rush to getting there though. Yael is friendly with me now and Quentin has known me for a few years. I wouldn't want to throw someone new at them though I know I mentioned him. Yael thought I was imposing with my height, when they meet Lex they'll be started to say the least since he's taller than me. A bit bulkier too but you have to be when you're that tall and you don't want to be a stick.

Like Quentin with Yael who'll do anything to keep him at his side, I know Lex would go out of his way to keep his current pet with him. I'm a little envious at times. I mean, we're together but we're not. When we get back together after our little decades apart, it's mostly physical, at least on his part. I can't read him, not with his gift and I don't know how he feels about me. I'm fond of him but I try to not let it get to be much more than that. I don't think it'd be wise.


	8. It's Gigantic

"Wow, this thing is huge!"

"I told you so." I can't help but laugh a little. These two really have been living under a rock most of their lives. It's sweet in a way. They seem to discover something new almost every day, it amuses me more than it should. I've been busy with Lex since he's come back and I hadn't had time to see these two in almost a month. He bought the whole building and I had to work my way around all the paperwork. It took some time, it had been a while since I'd owned a building at all. Last time it had been a bar, an honestly really popular one and someone had set fire to it after five years of good business. I'd told myself I would never go back to owning anything bigger than a car but here I am, essentially owner, well co-owner of the whole building. Though it's another reason to not leave this city.

Not that they're ah'ing and oh'ing over the fact of the building. I took them to the docks this afternoon, after a fair bit or playful urging from Lex. I suppose he wanted to show off. He's not ready to meet them yet but he's trying to show off, I don't know whether I want to smack him or not for the stupid idea but they seem interested in this so I figure why not.

"It's not the biggest around but it can seem pretty big when you've never seen anything quite like it before." It is a pretty yacht, it fits several comfortably but I know these two wouldn't go anywhere on it unless they knew they were coming back within a twenty four hour span. Their cats can't really take care of themselves, well they could for a couple of days but a litter box is a litter box and it does need to be emptied every so often.

"Well the container-ships that come about are gigantic next to this but they're not as neat looking." Quentin is being a little bit of a grump though he's trying to be positive about it. I think these two might have had a bit of a fight in the last days. They're side by side but there's a distance between them. Not a good thing. I don't even want to know what it might have been about.

"You guys can't even see the docks from your home, don't tell me you've seen a lot of container-ships before." I can't help but tease a little but he only snorts and shrugs, partly away from the current scene. Okay, wrong move Eoghan, the guy has a temper and I know this but we're not there yet and I hope to not be 'there yet' ever.

"Well he did used to live in the building you vacated not that long ago, it was a lot closer to the hustle and bustle of the city, isn't there a view of the docks from the windows?" Yael, ever the pacifist, trying to fix up whatever is wrong between them. He's such a sweetheart. 

I guess he's right though, I hadn't really thought about that. I also admit I'm a bit surprised he knew what container-ships were as is. I shouldn't underestimate them. Under rocks yes, but not sealed completely shut so they are aware of certain things, just not a whole lot of them. "I hadn't thought about that Yael, you're right. I apologize Quentin."

See, I can play nice as necessary.

"How about we three find a nice little restaurant to eat at? I bet you two are hungry and it's on me. Well it's on Lex, he gave me his credit card before I stepped out. You two will meet him before long, I think he's just settling in still. Dunkerque is really different from Los Angeles and he's adapting again. Usually he just moves around the states for a while. I can't remember when he was last overseas." Now I'm more talking to myself than to them but I can't help it, I honestly really can't recall when he last left the United States. I guess this is really a big change for him.

  


We do end up in a small restaurant. I thought they'd want to go some place they were familiar with—not that I think they've ever been to a restaurant before though I could be wrong, I need to stop assuming things about them—but they decided on a quiet little Indian place. I can't recall ever having been in this place before either but most things are worth trying at least once in one's life is what I tell myself so I went with.

The menu was interesting enough and we settled on one of those shared meals with big platters in the center and everyone takes little bits and pieces from what they want. I'm pleased to admit that I'm enjoying this new experience, I wasn't sure if it was for me but it's turning out to be something I'd be more than willing to add to my returning list.

Dessert was just brought out to us when I saw Yael's eyes grow in side and that left me somewhat perplexed. I wasn't sure what would have led to such a reaction considering everything around us was quiet but I looked over my shoulder to where he was looking and lo' and behold, there is Lex and thank god he's not wearing one of his attorney suits. Just some well worn jeans and a just as worn but still clean shirt.

I laugh and stand. We hug and I feel a light tremble of pleasure as his hands just subtly brush low on my back. This is just one of his signals that there will be more than simple sleep for us tonight. I can't wait. I turn and smile to both Yael and Quentin, one still with wide and uncertain eyes, the other looking uncertain and a little defensive. I had expected that kind of reaction so I'm not too much surprised really.

"This is Alexis, though he prefers to be called Lex. I didn't know he was going to join us and I assume you found me because of my phone." I turn mock accusing eyes on him and he shrugs at me before he's smiling down to our guests, I suppose is a good term for them right now. "He's harmless despite the looks of him so don't worry."

Yael is the first one to fumble to his feet with a sheepish sort of laugh and he holds hand out, exchanging brief 'pleasure to meet you' pleasantries. Quentin takes a moment longer, studying him I suppose before he was on his feet too to exchange a hand shake.

"Well they've brought us some dessert and I know you've probably had a bite to eat before you sought us out though perhaps you'd like some tea, yes?" It didn't hurt to ask and it helped in showing him that he was just like everyone else, height aside. So we did settle around a bit of dessert and tea, talking quietly about nothing and everything common.

I think Lex's presence might have helped to mend whatever hurt there was between these two because by the time we wandered back towards our building, theirs just across the street, Quentin was rather possessively hanging onto Yael. I don't blame him, it's adorably sweet though I really should tell him that he has nothing to worry about with Lex, the slighter ones aren't really his cup of tea. He's usually afraid to break them.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell him, for tonight they can make up and I can let Quentin think he's saved Yael from the big bad wolf when I'm the one who's going to be enjoying that bad, terrible wolf.


	9. Very Subtle

A lot of things in life are less than subtle but some are. Lex is the king of subtlety and it never fails to leave me trembling in expected pleasure when he does one of his little moves. I know I have nothing to fear when it comes to his presence looming over me. He's the sweetest and gentlest of souls when it's time for a bit of private life. Out there in public or when he's dealing with clients or cases he's different, he's focused and strong-minded but when I finally get him to relax and open up when we're in the privacy of our home, he wouldn't even think of harming a fly.

  


When he's in the mood for more than just watching a movie side by side, even if it's just for cuddling, he's subtle. He'll shift the way he's sitting, as if he's opening himself up to me and I've learned to read his cues more than well. Our first decade together turned out to be something of a disaster. I couldn't read him at all, he was so, well, delicate about things. It's hard to imagine him being delicate but he was. It was just a mere slight shift, a half-brush of his fingers over my arms. That was all the invitation he'd offer and if I didn't take it within a few minutes of the other he'd retract it.

At the restaurant earlier, the simple, almost invisible brush of his hand on the small of my back was one of those things. If it had been at the beginning of our very open relationship I would have missed it, it was barely felt. But now, when he does it, it tantalizes me, it sets my nerves on fire and brings me to a slow warmth that soon turns into a burning boil. He's the only one who can bring that kind of reaction out of me. To the point where I've been absolutely celibate while we've been apart these last years. I suppose I am a bit like Pavlov's dog.

As we walked inside, there was another touch, this one knuckles to knuckles as if to tell me that he's glad we're back home, back to a world that is slightly more private. He doesn't really initiate private things. He won't hold my hand unless I reach for his first though he'll briefly touch his fingers to mine. He won't invite me to his bedroom but he'll let me know by a well placed ghostly touch that he wants me in his bed. There are so many things and I don't really know where to start, I suppose it doesn't matter.

My heart flutters sharply every time he approaches me as I anticipate something, nothing and everything. I expect the unexpected and I admit to rarely being disappointed.

His eyes are hungry but I know that like every other time, there is not going to be any rush, it will be a slow dance that will leave me always craving more once it is done. I can never get enough of him, even when all we do is spend an evening settled together on the sofa, watching whatever there is to watch on television.

  


When morning light begins to show itself somewhat from the sides of the heavy curtains in his room, it finds us nestled, absolutely tangled together along with the bed sheets. There is a desire still deep within me, I feel as I can never be sated when he starts to sway me into his world of desire and pleasure but I ignore it for the time being. It feels good to be back in his arms and I know there will always be a next time. I think we're bound in a way that is somewhat endless. He might see other people while we're apart and I don't fault him for it. When we're together I'm the only one he has eyes for and that's just what I want.

I can't bring myself to see anyone else when I'm on my own and he's in another city, on another continent. I've tried a few times but I find them all too brash, too quick to jump to action. I miss the subtlety of his motions, of his invitations. I suppose he's broken me to the use of others and I'm rather sure that despite that he has lovers while we're apart, they must not last long. It took me a decade to be able to decode his signals and that was a very long time ago, I don't know that he has the patience to go through that again. It's with that in mind that I consider myself absolutely lucky to have been the first one he stayed with long enough to be understood. I don't think I would have had a second chance at getting closer to him if I hadn't, essentially, won him over.

Briefly I think back to the night before and I laugh softly. I should have expected him to come find us. There had been a tell-tale sign but I just hadn't seen it then, hadn't noticed it I'd been in a bit of a strange mood since he'd told me he wasn't coming with me to show them the yacht. It had put me off and I felt almost like a punished puppy but there it had been, that drift of fingers along my hip, my back. The brief kiss. I should have noticed.

He shifts slightly beneath me and I move to kiss his lips in apology for waking him. He's not much of a morning person when he can afford to not be and we were up late into the night so I'll let him get some more sleep. This is a comfortable spot as it is and I wouldn't let anyone else have it. I feel like I fit just perfectly against his side this way, the way our legs are tangled together, the way our breathing is almost perfectly even, despite that I'm awake and he's drifting back off to sleep.

I want to believe that this is it for me, forever more and for eternity. Some people would probably think me crazy to want to spend an eternity with the same guy but they just haven't found that one person to love to the end of the world. Those are words that we haven't spoken, words that might never be spoken but it's just one of those things and it doesn't matter. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he holds me, in the way he touches me as if I was precious and he needed to be careful not to break me.

He can be rough as he needs to but never with me. I've seen him with other people and I'm just the lucky one who gets to be pampered and I cherish every single second of it.


	10. Dreaming Again

This is just another one of those dreams. I know it's not real. It still feels so real when I first open my eyes that I have a hard time telling reality and dream apart. It all just feels so real but I don't feel that earthy connection I always sense when I'm awake, when I'm in the garden or out in the park or playing with the cats. When I'm awake, I something, I don't really have a term for it. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels it. If it might have to do with what I am or what I'm not in the end.

It might just but I don't know who to ask. Eoghan said something about Alexis being the oldest of us four, maybe he would have some information or some what to know what I really am. I guess I know how Quentin feels at times, not knowing exactly or or what he is. I only feel this way in my dreams though. That earthy connection isn't there but there's something else, like this place is where I really was born and I can't explain it.

It doesn't really feel any different from Dunkerque at this point, at least not in the general sense. There is grass and there is the sky though at times I swear I can see the sky waver as if it wasn't completely solid. There's no way for me to reach out and touch it so I can only try to imagine that since this is a dream, my imagination is supplying me with these strange sort of sensations and views.

When I walk on the path I 'land' when I wake up in this dream, I come to a fork in the road. I've walked both at length. At times I've done nothing but walk in these dreams. One fork leads to a home of sorts. I'm not sure what to call it. It almost looks like a castle but it looks like it was carved out of the mountain face. From the front I can see doors and windows and the top of the rock face. So maybe it's more a really large cliff than a mountain, I don't know. I've never gone inside that place before.

The other fork leads me to barren lands, to rock and more rock. Like I'm about to step into a cave but there's no ceiling, just the at-times wavering sky. The more I walk the barren lands, the more it seems like there is nothing there but eventually I come to a large body of dark water. I haven't gone into the water either. I feel like it would swallow me whole and never spit me out again.

I'm at the 'house' now, whatever term I should use for it. I walk forward, put my hand to the oversized door, thinking that at this size I'll never be able to get in and I take a moment to study the rather intricate designs on it. They make no sense to me at this point. I push just lightly, barely at the door and it eases open inward without so much as a protest from the hinges.

It really looks like it was carved out of the stone face of the wall and I can't help but catch my breath. I thought the designs on the doors had been intricate but the whole carving is breath-taking. When you think cave you think at times rough edges or smoothed-by-rain edges but this... this was like someone had build a house and then just painted everything rock coloured. I've never seen anything as detailed as what was I was seeing.

There is a slight wardrobe on the left, a small wooden bench just there as if they expected people to have to sit down to maybe change out of their winter shoes to not track snow inside. It's strange to imagine snow in a world like this. I haven't seen a single hint of a cloud in the wavering sky. Then again I suppose that this season is like the summer season we've having in Dunkerque, or maybe it's the beginning of autumn. That is what we're working with when I'm awake after all. The colours starting to shift. It's beautiful but not half as beautiful as this.

At the end of what I assume is the entrance, the foyer maybe, there are a couple of staircases though they both lead to the same second floor that I can see from here. There are hallways on either side leading to I still don't know where. I don't want to explore too far and get lost, though I guess I'll wake up anyway once I have slept enough.

So I take the stairs, I head up to the second floor and from there if I look back I realize that one of the hallways has a hidden staircase leading to a part of the second floor that does not seem accessible from the main one. Maybe next time. I know there's going to be a next time, I've had this dream more and more often as time goes by. I suppose I should tell Quentin but tell him what, that I dream about a world that's like ours but different? I don't know what he would think.

I don't much dare explore the rooms on either side of the stairs though there is one at the end of the very hall and its door is open. It is grand, for a room that essentially has no window to look out to. Though it is clear and I see no source of light. As if the room itself had its own invisible fireplace or light-bulb or something. The room has a small circular staircase and I head up. I don't know how many floors this place has, from the outside view I recall windows that seemed to span five or six floors but I could have been wrong.

If memory serves me right at this point, this small staircase has brought me to the third floor. It's a simple room, like an infant's room almost. There is a crib in one corner with slightly fluttering curtains. When I look up I can't help but notice things I hadn't before. There are slight holes at wide intervals on the ceiling. I look down and they're the same. Tiny things, who knows, it might be for air circulation. I can't imagine that air would circulate so well in a place carved out of a rock wall.

I will myself to wander the halls a while more. I head back down to the second floor, looking down extra hallways and staircases. At one point I'm back to the front of the house since I can see through one of the small windows that I recall having noticed while I'd been outside. What catches my attention before long, however, is the soft sound of music coming from one of the rooms not far from where I'm currently standing. So I stay quiet, listen and head that way. It seems the best solution after all. I hadn't heard anything else to that point and I feel like I've been wandering for hours, my legs have begun to tell me that they do ache.

The music comes from a large, airy room. I'm not sure where it is at seeing as it seems to open to air at the back. I don't recall walking that deeply into the whole place that I would be at the other edge of the rock wall. Still, I don't question myself too much, I just step in and take stock. The wide balcony with the breeze ruffling the sheer curtains, the bed against one wall with its own sheer curtains flowing lightly on the draft. There's a hand peeking from the side of that curtain and this startles me. I hadn't heard or seen anything or anyone yet in these dreams.

So I step closer, carefully. I don't want to wake or disturb the person resting there. I stop by the curtain and carefully brush it aside. I can only scream at the sight that greets me. I close my eyes.

When I open them I'm staring at the worried face of Quentin, sitting at me side, shaking my shoulders lightly as he tries to pull me up from the dream I was having, more like nightmare at this point. I can only move towards him and huddle in his arms. I hadn't seen this particular face in my dreams for a long enough time at this point, I hadn't wanted to see it again. "It was Sterling, he was in my dreams and he was bleeding out and I just..."

It's easier to just cry and let it out.


	11. That's the Plan

"You're sure this is gonna work out?"

"Well it worked before, I'm not sure why it wouldn't work now. That's the plan in any case." At least, that had been the plan before, things had somewhat changed since it had first been set up however so I honestly wasn't sure how well it would all work out in the end. Maybe I should have given it more thought. We were running a bit out of time.

"It's just for three days, they have more than enough water to live on and the food in on automatic, the container is fresh and full and it takes a week to empty. That and there's always Eoghan to come and check in on them at least once a day. I didn't ask him to clear the litter box but he might just though I doubt it."

He still doesn't look convinced and I'm not sure what to say or do to change his mind. I guess we've both been a little distant since we had our first fight and it was an uncomfortable feeling. Still he's woken up screaming three times in the past week and while I don't know what's prompting his nightmares, I'd like to think that time out of the house might help. More than just a few hours.

I thought that bed and breakfast lost in the middle of nowhere might not do good enough so instead I tried to forget my just about absolute discomfort with the idea of being around or touched by most humans and I booked us a weekend away in a massage parlour. I don't know what brought the idea up. I suppose it might have been Eoghan. He was talking about how relaxing a well done massage could be. I wanted to believe him and Yael looked interested.

I haven't told him yet about where exactly it is we're going. I just said surprise. Three days of packed clothes. They call it the 'Long Weekend' setup. Three days of hot baths, mud baths if we want and massages. Steams and hot pool. Who knows it might do us both good and we might both be able to move beyond this feeling of mild discomfort over that fight. We've both said we were forgiving and forgetting but there's still just that hint of tension int he air, it makes me want to rip my hair out. Not because I blame either one of us for it, because I'm wrapping my mind around how we're both struggling to move on. This is all still so new. Eoghan makes it look easy. He's had years.

  


We barely made it on the train and I have to laugh a little. That seems to be part of our usual habit. We don't usually go around making sure to barely catch our trains or rides or whichever we're bound to get on bu lately we've always made it just at the last minute. We leave early, that's not the issue, it's usually the traffic that delays us. So we just do our best.

There was a whole novel (almost!) of notes left for Eoghan (or Lex if he goes with for some reasons) to go through when he checks up on the boys. I'd like to trust him to not put his nose where it doesn't belong. I've known him long enough to believe he'll behave, so it's one less worry on my mind. All I want to be worrying about is Yael's well being. I hate seeing those lines under his eyes. It makes me want to reach out, enfold him in my arms and never let go again.

He looks out the window now, just watching the scenery drift on by as we head to our destination. When we get there, I get his luggage and mine and I get us a taxi with the address we need to head to. He gives us a bit of an odd look and this is just one of those reasons why I don't like dealing with others in generals, not even just humans but everyone. They'll judge you on where you're going or what you're doing. So what if we're two guys heading to a spa weekend get away? Keep your ugly judgment to yourself, mister.

Still past that one look he just drives and doesn't really try for idle chatter. My thumbs brush over the back of Yael's hand. He's still looking outside, taking in the details. This is a city we hadn't been to before. There is a spa in our hometown but I wanted to get away completely without going too far away. This seemed best. That way we can't just turn around, hail a cab and be home in half an hour. So we stay here and appreciate the quiet and calm.

  


At the spa, I slip out, move around the car to open his door and he blushes subtly as he gets out. There's that somewhat coy look on his face with just a hint of coyness. I think I'm getting my old Yael back, this is a good start to this weekend. I get our bags, tip the driver and he drives off. I lead Yael to the doors and again I hold it open for him to get him. This time he grins as he steps inside and I laugh softly. I'm really getting good reactions to this little planned getaway.

When we step up to the desk, I offer the woman my most charming of smiles though I feel myself cringing slightly inwardly. I just want to be in our room and to check out just what we can and should do over the next three days to just relax best as we can. I tell her about the reservation and I'm handed my key. We're told where our room is at and that there is a 'menu' of what they offer in each room so we can look that over. Some things are part of the package and some are extra. I can live with that just fine.

We walk to our room and I play the gentleman once more. I think I'll be doing that all weekend if I can. He steps in and gasps softly. The room is beautiful in its simplicity. The fluffed pillows, the thick comforter. There are a few candles left and right though they're unlit. I can still smell them. I set the bags down and he turns to me wordlessly.

This is the first kiss we've shared since we've had our little bit of a fight and it tastes all the sweeter. I just hold him to me for as long as he'll let me to put everything to memory. I know we'll be spending some time just relaxing on the bed before we look our options over. This was a good idea so far, I'll have to thank Eoghan later on for bringing it up as he did. I'm grateful.


	12. A Great Man

"Wow, you think he'll do it?" His eyes are so huge, like he's never seen that kind of thing before and I have to remind myself that this is the case. He's lived under a rock all of his life, so to speak. Still, I would have thought that he would have heard about this before considering how mad he was at people destroying our precious planet. Though it's their precious planet but that's just something not really spoken of at this point and it's safer this way just yet.

"Well, he is considered a great man by those who work at his side and those who want to keep nature going as long as possible but I don't know that this new project of his will go much of anywhere. I appreciate his work but he's always getting new projects going, never getting enough funding for them so they all fail one after the other, he tries, but he tries too hard." I shrug, offering him a sheepish sort of smile. He looks so much more relaxed.

When he and Quentin came back from their little get away, they both looked so peaceful, like they'd just spent a small but overly necessary eternity just relaxing and doing nothing else. It was good to see them standing shoulder to shoulder as if that pesky little half-fight of theirs had never happened. That was the part I was looking forward to most, it's why I accepted to look over their cats in the first place. I even cleared the litter box!

Now though, Quentin is somewhere in his own little office that I hadn't even been aware existed, dealing with banks and whatnot, just moving some of his money around I guess. He's not like Lex yet in terms of funds but I think he's comfortable with what he has and he's not really worried about tomorrow. Makes me wonder how he got it but it's not my kind of thing to go and ask these kind of personal things.

So while he was busy, I put a documentary into the player and I flopped over next to Yael to watch it. Lex is busy with a commission piece for his work and he works best when he's undisturbed. Normally I wouldn't have stepped out but it's a huge piece and he's been a bit touchy lately so I figured it wouldn't hurt. His work room is kept cool so he can work on the chocolate pieces and keep them from melting but he always has to transition back into the warmth of the regular air in our apartment and then into the heated humidity of Adela's room when he wants to look on her. I swear he'll get sick one of these days.

The documentary is about this one guy who's going out of his way to try to save the rain-forest where he lives. He studies everything that lives in it. From the big four-legged beasties to the tiny ones that have more than we can count. He lives out there and I'm pretty sure no one would ever hear from him if he didn't have such a strong following. All he wants in the end is to keep on studying and discovering new things, I can't fault him for that but a few of the folks who follow him around are always throwing in new ideas for this and that and the poor guy gets dragged in somewhat unwillingly, honestly.

Entranced as he is, I guess I could try to read him a little more, a little better. I tend to be able to read from a distance but touch makes things a bit clearer. So I reach out and I curl my fingers about one of his hands. He startles a little and blinks at me, I just offer him a smile and when he keeps on looking at me as if he's trying to understand what I'm going, I let my amused laugh brush his mind lightly. Now his eyes go wide but he doesn't pull his hand back and I'm glad. He's taking to this better than I imagined. I figured Quentin might have punched me.

_Don't worry. I'm not going to pry, I promise. I'm just trying to find a little more about you, things you might not be able to answer yourself._ He's calm, his eyes have calmed and he's almost slipped into a trance he's so focused. He wasn't even looking at the documentary with that sort of attention. He amazes me, I swear. So instead of just digging into that locked part of his brain, I close my eyes and I pull up a mindscape. I figure it might be easier.

  


I watch him close his eyes and I do the same for a heartbeat. When he opens them again we're standing in a large field and a pathway. Behind us there's a strange structure that looks carved out of the rock wall face. I've never seen that kind of thing before. I look up and notice the slightly wavering sky. This however, I've seen. "I wasn't sure where your mind would open up to, but I admit this is rather different."

"This is the dream I've been having lately. I don't recall ever being here in my life until it started showing up in my sleep." He looks a little uncomfortable so I just pull him to my side and I set my arm across his shoulders. This place is safe as can be so I'm really not worried about it. Unless somehow there are protective barriers about his mind, then I might be worried about my hide but so far so good.

"There's the housing there, I've seen Sterling dead in one of the rooms." I don't have to look deeper to know who that is and I can understand why he's been a bit stressed. "That way, it keeps going for a while with just fields on either sides, there's a fork eventually. One leads to a barren land, like a cave ground but without the ceiling and the other..."

He blanks out a bit and I look down to him in quiet curiosity. He shrugs and shakes his head. Well that's alright. I hadn't expected to bring him in with me and I can't really go digging to find out answers with him at my side, so instead of going digging since I know I can look at a later time and he might just let me, I turn to walk the path with him for a while. Away from the housing in the rock place since it seems to be an uncomfortable area for him. Instead we just walk along the lonely path, along the fields until we come to the fork.

I watch him quietly, carefully and his eyes go blank again as if he can't understand what's going on. "No.. this isn't how it usually is. Normally I'm at the pathway, I walk and come to the fork.. on one side there's the house and the other the barren land."

Well that could explain why he couldn't remember what the other fork leads to, he's more than likely never been that way. I tell myself it might not be a bad place to visit, to discover new things but he shakes his head. I squeeze his shoulder again and I pull him back from the mindscape. I'll nudge his mind at a later time.

  


He looks back to the television set for a moment and close his eyes as if to make sure he's really in the proper reality. "So what are you really?"

His words are so soft and I feel a bit as if I've breached something I probably shouldn't have, I might have moved a bit fast but I see his shoulders go from slightly tense to relaxed and he sags somewhat against the back of the couch. "I'm not human at least but what I am is a bit complicated. I'm not quite demon by the terms the humans would use though I still am. I'll show you what makes me who I am in a few days, alright? I might try to bring everyone into a mindscape, that's what I did just there with you and we might just all share what makes us physically different but we hide, alright?"

That seems to have been a good enough answer for him and he smiles at me. He looks back to the television and I can tell he's not interested in the documentary anymore. I'm not either at this point but it's mostly because it's at a point that is very honestly boring so I turn it back to the regular channels. 

"I should have warned you before I touched you. I honestly thought you wouldn't notice. I was curious to know a bit more about your roots, things you might not know yourself but once you looked at me I felt bad for wanting to poke inside your head without your permission so I brought you inside for a bit."

"Well... it's okay I guess. I should feel, I don't know, violated or something but I don't so..." he just shrugs and offers me one of his shrugs to as if to say _it's okay, I don't completely understand it but I don't mind._ I smile down to him and I squeeze his hand lightly before finally letting it go. I know that before too long in his life he'll better understand what comes with demon blood. We're in no rush.


	13. Do Not Tell

They've been together forever, it feels like. Longer than I've been alive so I guess that for me, it is forever in a way. I haven't seen much of them together but that's because I haven't seen much of Alexis. He seems very keep to himself, it feels strange, Eoghan said that usually when it's his lifetime out with the public, he's an attorney. I suppose he values his quiet time after everything else. It's fine by me really.

Eoghan 'borrowed' Quentin for the day and he asked me if I minded spending some time with Alexis. They keep on telling me to call him Lex but it feels strange and I can't bring myself to do that. They needed the house so Eoghan walked me over to his apartment and I was let in with nothing but my soul, my clothes, a sketchbook and a pencil and eraser. I feel completely out of place and almost naked though I know that's just my imagination. I guess that living with Quentin for the past year has helped me grow used to the idea that folks might just feel out of place in a spot they've never been at before.

I had to catch my breath when Eoghan left and told me Alexis would be out of his room in a moment. I hadn't expected him to come out bare chested with low slung pants and hair slightly tousled from sleep (or so I assumed!) I must have been the colour of one of my ripest tomatoes when he smiled at me and told me to make myself comfortable in the living room. So I did and I tried to just sort of breathe for a while. He might have sensed my discomfort, when he came back out of his room (and a shower by the look of his slightly moist hair—Yael stop staring!) he was towelling his hair dry and he had put on a t-shirt. It still defined him just fine and I couldn't decide whether it was better or worse. It didn't really matter.

What I understand of my situation at this point as he goes and busies himself in his kitchen, more than likely for coffee, is that this might be a very strong drift of lust. I feel no emotional attraction to him but the body has different ideas and this might be one of them. It's inevitable, he's good to look at, they all three are but Quentin is the one who has my heart.

I thought it might be something of an awkward conversation or day when spent with someone I don't know but it comes back easily, it always does. My roots. For how long I spent in an orphanage around other people I knew or didn't. How I had to be nice to folks so I could have what I wanted or what I needed. Unlike Quentin, I didn't close up onto myself, I opened up and I welcomed most. Of course, when Sterling died that changed but that's in the past or as much as in the past as I can put it.

  


When he settles next to me, the first thing he seems to notice is my sketchbook and he asks me about it, how long I've been drawing and how comfortable I am with everything. The conversation comes easily and I do end up showing him a few pages of this and that. This sketchbook has mostly seen to this day fashion sketches. I don't know why. I suppose it's after I saw that one show on the television. The models looked ridiculous to me so I started sketching this and that. Nothing of importance but it caught his eyes. I don't really know why.

He asks me if I would be able to create, to be worn, something I'd drawn. I blink, look down to my sketches and laugh softly. He looks puzzled for a moment and I have to admit that he might be tall and imposing but so far he's rather kind a soul. I tell him that when I met Quentin, the idea had been brought up that we could more than likely own our own little boutique with unique fashion. I could design and he could create. He is the one with the ability to create things out of just about thin air, it's a wonderful sort of thing.

Alexis smiles at me and tells me we might have our own private project while Eoghan and Quentin are busy on the other side of the street. I can't help but feel absolutely charmed by that smile and it takes me a moment to come back down to earth as a whole to ask him about the kind of project. He tells me that for a while he, since before he came back really, he's been thinking about a gift to remind Eoghan that he's always on his mind, even when they're apart. I can't help the little sigh that escapes me, that's sweet really.

His first few ideas are mostly centered on clothes and while it might not be a bad idea, I have to tell him the one thing that's going through my mind. Clothes are temporary, they're worn and worn and then they become thin, old and eventually (though it could be in decades!) they have to be thrown away. I scribble a few different things down on my book. Fashion isn't the only thing I like drawing after all and I know my way well enough around a lot of jewellery, something a little more difficult for Quentin to create though if it's a woven bracelet that could be managed, we could attach whatever extra to it afterwards.

I don't think I ever expected Alexis to blush but he did, deeply at that when he first saw the few different rings I had scribbled. A bit too 'soon' he says. He adores Eoghan to no end but he doesn't think that a ring would be fitting. It would feel as if it was something tying the both of them down. I guess it puzzled me at first but I think I can understand. After living so long and all, love is ever present but a ring might not be the best of ideas.

The bracelets have his attention a bit more and we work together on a design he likes, a design he believes will be liked just the same. It's simple but meaningful. It has a few stones I've never heard of before on it and he says he'll get those himself. That all I have to do is get the basic bracelet set up and once that's done he'll let me have the stones to finish it up. I don't mind that kind of idea.

  


We spend most of the day on this, my sketching, erasing and adding whatever it is he sees in his mind. The day ends with a promise for several articles of clothing, one simple necklace and a bracelet. He makes me promise to not tell as it's to be a surprise and I'll have to either keep the details from Quentin or make him swear to keep to himself. The second option might just be best. I trust him to keep that kind of secrets easily after all.

I don't know that I'll be there when he gives those to Eoghan, as is, it'll be about a month before everything is finished anyway so it's just one of those things. Who knows he might keep it for that snow time holiday. Christmas. We might be able to all be together at that point though, celebrate between friends. I think that could be awesome.

I can see it in his eyes. Alexis really does care deeply for Eoghan and he knows he doesn't mention it often enough. He's trying to work on that but I can understand that spending a decade or some away from someone can be difficult to come back to. Still, I believe in their love.

This is a good day I'm not about to forget, it was an interesting sort of outing. Our hours usually clash so it was surprising that Quentin and I were both up today. A nap before long won't do my any harm though, after all, we sleep when we're tired without a really set schedule, it comes, in a way, with being our own bosses. I sell a few pieces of my art here and there, Quentin... well I don't know what he does for money but he never seems worried. Today I learned that Alexis will be working with chocolate and other simple items for the next decade or so and I think Eoghan is content with just taking care of their building.


	14. A Grey Coat

"This is so weird, I was so sure this one was grey."

"It looks blue to me." It does. A sort of blue-grey coat though to me it looks bluer than greyer. Though I'm more than aware not everyone sees things the same. We both could be seeing a bright yellow coat but our eyes are telling us that it's another colour altogether. I can't help but stare at it though. I know it was grey. Now it is obviously more blue than grey and I can't recall anyone dumping it into dye to change its colour. I have to admit to being somewhat baffled by this but what can I do about it, really?

I shake my head and laugh lightly, shaking my head. "I can't even remember where I got this coat from so I guess it doesn't really matter what colour it is, so long as it's comfortable for this time of the year and I know it is, at least I think I recall it being warm enough."

Usually, remembering that kind of thing isn't an issue, I've just been really busy lately. The colours have taken on that beautiful brightness that makes this season so worth it. We've had a lot of rain lately though so we decided that today, as it was bright and clear, we were going to go out to the park for a walk. I suppose it's just a plus that we're both awake at the proper time right now.

It has crossed my mind a few times that maybe it would be easier to live my life if I had a set schedule, a rounded up hour during which I went to bed and one at which I woke up instead of going to bed when I'm tired and waking up when I've rested enough. It's a lifestyle that suits me enough though and I don't miss out on that much most of the time.

  


I look back to the coat briefly and I can't help the very faintly bitter smile that crosses my lips. I do recall where I got it, lying about it wouldn't really get me anywhere and it makes me realize that it might be time to change that coat after all, this isn't doing me much good. Staying latched onto the past like this. "This was Sterling's coat. I took it by his bed after I found him, before I ran off. It was so big on me then, it's still a little big now but he was the only family I'd ever had even if he wasn't really family. Maybe I should change it, huh?"

He shrugs but offers me that little smile of his that essentially goes 'it's up to you, you decide what you think is best for you and I'll support you all the way'. I laugh a little and shake my head. Well it's the only coat I have at this point. I just haven't worn it a lot, it's a mid-season sort of jacket and the last year's outings were warmer than this and I switched from heavy sweaters to my winter coat without wearing this one.

"Well I'll have to wear it to the store, I have nothing else to put on and it's a little too cool for my sweaters. Most of them are in the wash." All I have left in clean sweaters currently is one that is even older than this coat and it was also Sterling's. Now that I think about it, I'm going to have to go through my clothes and get rid of a few different things, especially if I want to finally move on. This should help.

"I could let you have one of mine?" I can't help but blink at him and laugh again just a little, a soft sound. He's slighter than me, shorter than me. I don't know that any of his clothes would fit me. He's the one who stole one of my shirts for sleeping in, after all.

"I appreciate the offer, Quentin, but I think that might not work out, I'd be squeezed to non-breathing terms if I was to wear one of your coats. I think that just this one last time I can wear this one as we go and get me a new one, that sounds alright?" He doesn't look convinced but I guess it can't be blamed. I told him about the nightmares, at least the part where I saw Sterling again and he's been trying all he can to get me to think about things that have nothing to do with my past. It's been working well enough, my nights have been calmer. Though his sleeping next to me helps too.

  


So I do shrug on the coat and we step outside into the chilly autumn air. The colours are beautiful but it makes it a little difficult to want to spend that much time outside, the chill is honestly a little biting. It wasn't this cool last year at this point so this is a bit off-putting. 

We don't have long a walk to cover so I just hunch my shoulders a little and I walk at his side. We're not holding hands yet though we've done it in public before. We should have put on some gloves that would have made the outing a little more comfortable. We're walking almost shoulder to shoulder though and it's comforting enough. This peaceful little walk of silence. It's a good sort of silence.

Twenty minutes before we're stepping into a quiet little boutique. They have all those huge find-everything-you're-looking-for places closer to downtown, everything is cheaper but it also falls apart after just a few uses so we both decided long enough ago that we preferred paying a bit more for what we wore but at least we knew it would last us.

I browse the aisles a bit, looking at this and that. I try to keep away from grey, that might just bring back memories I'm trying to forget. I find a lovely deep green sort of coat and I try it on. It fits just fine, the sleeves are down to my knuckles and I grin a little bit like a kid in a candy store. I love long sleeves. The neck is high and there's a hood to it so it's really comfortable.

I head up to the counter and look around to locate Quentin, he's trying on a pair of gloves and he has a couple of scarves on his shoulder. I guess he's buying that extra stuff I haven't really given much thought to. He's used to having a bit more of a comfortable life than me. I realize I still end up going to thrift stores at times, I'm so used to it.

He wanders back up to the counter and everything is paid for. The old coat ends up in the bag instead of the new one and I walk out of the store warm and comfortable. I shift the bag from my left to my right and I can't help but reach for his hand, fingers curling a little. Now that I'm not cringing into the shoulders of my old coat for warmth, I think I can enjoy the walk back home a little more. Still it's chilly but not enough to make me want to stick my fingers back up my sleeves.

His hand is warm in mine and it reminds me that I'm lucky enough to have him for myself, that I might just never have to share him with anyone else and it makes everything better. There's nothing else I would rather have in the world than this just now. It's worth everything else.


	15. Revenge

Today I learned one thing and I can't help but be more than a little pleased with the thought. It was an accident really but oh it was worth it. Though by the look on his face I think I'm in for payback and I know too well that he likes his revenge cold. Still it was worth it!

We were just lounging in bed after a rather long almost marathon of love making (it makes me so warm inside to think it in terms of love still!) and I shifted to reach for something past him, brushed his side and he squirmed away and laughed. Now it has to be understood that this isn't the first time I'd done this, it wasn't the first time that I'd brushed past him but this squirm and laugh was new. I'd always thought he hadn't been ticklish. I guess I was about to be proven wrong.

So as innocently as I could, I reached past him again but I stopped at his side and I let my fingers shift and brush, tickling him lightly. His laugh, oh it was wonderful and I laughed in turn before I launched an all out attack. This is just one of those things that reverts us back to the world of our childhood. I don't know what his was like but I know that mine was less than pleasant, it might be why I have such fondness for the other two just across the street.

He laughed and squirmed and tried to push me off though he wasn't trying very hard since he knew his own strength. I could hold my own but he could fling me out there if he really tried. I moved to straddle his waist and I just kept on tickling him. He tried to tickle me back but I managed to mostly evade and it was good for me since I'm more than likely more ticklish than him. Little touches, light little things make me shiver and sigh in pleasure but put a little more pressure to it and I'm laughing my head off and almost wetting my pants.

The tickling thing lasted all of ten minutes at most though I know it seemed much longer. He was breathless when I stopped and I just kissed him to add to that breathlessness. I see it so rarely that I crave it badly. When I had pulled back however, there was that look in his eyes, that playful sort of look that told me I was going to be in trouble.

  


So far I haven't been. Breakfast was had and he went to work on a commission piece of something or other. I don't pry into those things. It is early afternoon now and I still am as safe as I was when I finally got out of my shower and had a small bite to eat for lunch. I prepared him something but I left it out on a covered plate, he doesn't like to be disturbed when he's working and this I have understood a long time ago.

I move to settle on the couch with a book. It's easier to just forget about what he might be plotting for his revenge. If it happens it will and I will have deserved it after all. He's not cruel or unjust, quite the opposite. I can't focus on my book, I read one page and when I get to the end I realize that I have no idea what I've just read so I go back up to the top and start over again.

An hour passes this way and frustration gets the better of me, I close the book and set it down. Just years ago that frustration would have led me to flinging that book as far away as I could. I envy Lex a little bit for that. I honestly can't read my way through books, my attention wanders too often. I couldn't have studied for anything in school even if I'd wanted because of this. That he spent years in law school back then amazes me. 

I'm restless and this isn't new. I suppose it's why I usually like the chance to work where there usually are a lot of people. It's why I appreciated owning my own bar, working behind the counter. Never a dull moment.

I move to my feet and I head into the bedroom. This might just be the best thing. Maybe I'm just tired and it's making me even more restless than usual. It's not that strange a sensation but it's always a little uncomfortable. I can't help who or what I am, I just wish it wasn't so restless.

The bedroom is empty as I expect it and I just slip off my shoes and settle on the bed. I roll to my side and take his pillow to hug it to myself. His scent is like a drug almost. I can close my eyes, press my face to his pillow and inhale. I instantly feel a little calmer, a little less restless. I close my eyes and I drift off.

When I wake up, it is darker outside and I blink. I didn't expect to sleep that long but I guess I might have needed it. We didn't exactly sleep overly long the night before, too busy reacquainting ourselves to one another. It's always that way when we get to making love. Like we've forgotten everything and we learn it all over again together. Slow exploring and the rest.

I turn my head to look towards the door and he's standing there. There's a tender sort of smile to his lips and I return it though I blink as I try to make out whatever it is he's holding in his hands. I feel a sort of dread come over me as I realize that there are feathers on there and the only thing that could be attached to is whatever a device to torture me until I wet my pants.

He's thorough when he plans something and I get this feeling that I'm in for rib-hurting laughter. I can't complain, I brought it onto myself and he knows not to push too far.

He turns and locks the door. I quirk a brow but don't move from my spot. He could pin me to the bed if he wanted to and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do at this point is hold my wrists out in surrender. I'm not going to fight him, at least not yet. I know I'll be squirming and fussing and flailing before long but I might as well try to play mock fair. Who knows he might go easy on me.

I sincerely doubt it but  it's worth sparing a thought to. I'm about to be tickled to no end and he looks far too happy about it all. Teach me to tickle him without mercy! Maybe I'll learn my lesson tonight though I sincerely doubt it. Not where he's concerned. I'm always getting in 'trouble' and it's always more than worth it for what comes after.


	16. Digging for Treasure

"So why are we digging?"

"TREASURE!" Like kids in a candy store. I've seen so many of those in my years and it never really change. Kids get money, kids enter store, kids leave store with sugar-filled bags and no money. I suppose it might be surprising to imagine that I don't like candy. Chocolate is different, it's something else altogether, it can be used in its almost pure form and be bitter or be sweetened to the point where it does taste like most candies this day. Plus I don't often eat the chocolate I work with as is.

They've been digging around for almost an hour at this point and I'm just watching. They can keep on digging until they reach whatever is on the other end of the planet from this city. I still don't know why they started digging at all or when they'll stop, I haven't really asked and I suppose I should have.

I find myself a sturdy log and just settle my weight there. Quentin is the one who started it all, knocked at our door just two hours ago saying something about treasure and they were off. Eoghan is too much like a kid at times but I can't fault him for it, it's actually a little bit sweet. Especially after that tickle fight we've had. I think he's not about to do it again. I don't think he'd be sane to do it again. Not after I made him nearly pee his pants in return from tickling him.

Yael is digging but he looks a bit uncertain, I don't think he wholly understand what they're digging for, if there's anything at all. Still he's digging but he's being slower about it. They're all going to be aching something fierce when they're done with this anyway, the ground is cold and it can't be easy to dig through.

"So one of you wants to tell me what kind of treasure you're digging for and why you think there's anything buried here?" I get a shrug out of Yael, nothing out Eoghan of course since he knows crap else than oh my god treasure let's dig! And Quentin finally stops to look at me. There's that grin on his face and if he knew about the true nature of his gift I'm pretty sure I'd be digging right alongside him. I'm thankful he doesn't.

"I went to that old antique place and the guy behind the counter gave me this map and it looks like there's something buried here and it could be treasure!" All right, so we have a map that points to this place and there might be treasure. That seems vague as can be to me but if they want to wear themselves out this way they can do it all night long if they want. Well not really all night long, the nights are getting colder and none of us are really dressed for that kind of temperature drop.

"Didn't you stop to think that maybe it's all a hoax and you won't find anything?" It's not like I go out of my way to burst his bubble but it does seem just absolutely out there. At least the map pointed it to a part of the wood that's on his property so they're not digging through someone else's yard so I suppose there's that at least on the plus side.

  


By the time the sun starts to drift lower along the sky, Yael has settled next to me. He's been there for almost an hour and I don't blame him. The hole is nearly as tall as Quentin himself and I don't know how they expect to get out of there. I'm pretty sure I'll be hearing Eoghan bitch whine and moan all evening into night about how much he aches. It'll be one steaming hot bath for him.

"Guys, don't you think it's about time to head back? It's getting cold out and we're a distance off. I don't imagine either one of you has brought a torch either." Valid point, just by the startled look on Quentin's face. I can barely see it but he's still there and I can hear Eoghan swear a little under his breath. "Come on, I'm pretty sure this was just a big bad hoax, let's go back."

There's a moment of silence and I hear a bit more swearing and a soft huff of defeat. "All right, I cave, I could get out of his hole well enough but I don't think Quentin will manage on his own and my arms hurt too much to help him out, so if you wouldn't mind?"

Of course I don't mind, this actually amuses me more than anything else. I move towards the hole and I crouch down, I pull Quentin out first though once he's on the ground I look down at Eoghan and I can only grin. I don't help him, he said he could get out of there on his own after all. Yes, this is still mock payback for all that tickling.

"Uh, Lex? Mind helping me out?"

"You said you could get out on your own." I'm trying so hard to hide my amusement, I can't help it. He rolls his eyes at me and huffs before crossing his arms over his chest. Yael seems to take pity and heads over but Eoghan is both taller and heavier than him that would just end in disaster. I move my arm to block his way before I step back over and help the idiot out of his hole. He huffs a little more at me and he pouts. I roll my eyes, steal a brief kiss from his lips and motion towards the way back.

"Come on, before it's so dark that we won't be able to see where we're going at all." Yael takes lead, falling easily in step with Quentin and they lace fingers. I can't help the slight quirk of a smile that tugs at my lips. They're just fine together even if they've been living under a rock. Eoghan finally starts off after them and I follow him. Once at his side I playfully swat at his ass and he yelps lightly. Tonight is going to be an interesting sort of night, I can tell. Then again most of our nights are interesting.

  


By the time we make it back to the edge of the property and the beginning of the fences, it is dark out but the moon is bright enough. If I exhale through my mouth I can my breath escape in a small plume and I shake my head. None of us are dressed for this kind of colder weather and I hope no one gets sick.

Finally we're at the street and I bid Quentin and Yael good night. I watch them step into their building and I turn to street Eoghan towards ours. He's shivering and I can tell it's because he's both tired and cold. A hot bath and some sleep will do him a world of good.


	17. Dancing

"I wouldn't really call that dancing. That's more like bashing your head around and hoping to not hit anyone as you do it." Leave it to Eoghan to talk about the oddest of things at the oddest of times. Though I suppose he can't really be blamed for it. I'm not even sure how this came to be on the subject though.

"You have training in most classical dance types and in some others, I suppose it's all different though I guess that no, people at rock concert who just do the head motion thing shouldn't really be considered dancing." Then again I shouldn't have been surprised. His attention span can be painfully short at times unless I have something that will keep him focused. It's one of the downsides to his gift. This telepathy. At times he can't turn it off, most times really. He's learned to shut every off if he focuses but most of the times there still is a very faint background noise from everyone around him. It's why I appreciate keeping close to him, I'm a bit of a dampener, it's quieter in his head when I'm there.

For most folks out there, they would consider him likely schizophrenic but it's different and it would take too long to explain. That and they wouldn't believe any of it anyway. So when, way back then, he mentioned wanting to learn to dance, I think I was thrilled. It forced him to focus on things, it helped him better learn to concentrate. Some people seem to think that when you're a demon of a sort though I prefer the term gifted, that you can enjoy your gift without any downsides, that's one very wrong way to look at things.

It took me almost a millennium to be able to better control my gift. I had a brother, when he was with me things were easier, we were yin and yang. I was strife and he was peace. We both went our separate ways when we were old enough to think we could conquer the whole world and not worry about things. It went poorly. For me in any case. He never talked about how things went on his end.

We were apart for about a hundred years before we ended up back together. It was easier when we were together but we couldn't really do any of what we desired to. We constantly were bickering about going on our separate ways but I knew better than anyone else it would have been a disaster. So before we did finally part way in an almost final manner, he infused a small stone with his essence and I wear it on my person since. I suppose, in a way, I haven't learned to control the downside to my gift, I don't think it can be controlled. The stone makes it easier.

If I think about Quentin, I can imagine that if he creates too much fabric to soon, since he's not yet aware of the true power of his gift, he might wear down, his fingers might just refuse to listen to him a bit of time. I don't know about Yael. I can't tell what his gift is yet though his ability with the garden that I've only heard of and not yet seen is one thing though he's also an artist at heart but most anyone can be even without a gift to support it.

Eoghan shifts in my arms and sets his chin lightly on my shoulder. I blink and look down at him, offering him a gently sheepish sort of smile. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about the past for a bit. How we all learned small things here and there that helped us better control the gift we were granted at birth."

"Oh. Should I let you go back to your pondering?" I laugh softly and I shake my head, brushing some hair from his face. He needs a cut, it's a bit too long and it's going to be just one more of those things that annoy him just enough to distract him. We can't really have that. At least I think we shouldn't.

"No, no this is fine, I'm with you I should be focusing on you. At least in the tender, hold you for a while more way. We've kept busy enough since last night." All night really! "Though I'm thinking I might need to cut your hair a little bit, it's getting long and in your eyes somewhat."

It's not usually up to me to decide what he does with his hair, it's actually not even up to me at all to decide what he does but I know I can bring it up easily and without an issue. He looks up, as if he could see his hair from his spot and goes cross-eyed a moment. I laugh again and shake my head. "I guess it is a bit long, we can do that later. For now, snuggle."

And snuggle I am happy to offer him. He feels just right against my side. Before too long we'll shower and I have a feeling I know where that will lead us but I can't complain, I never can when it comes to him, unless it concerns his health the way I mock-complained last night. Though I did make sure he sweated that fever out. Now he's bright eyed and clear minded.

"Do you think I should go back to dancing?" 

I have to admit the question startles me somewhat and I have to cant my head back slightly to give it some thought. "Well it would be up to you if you wanted to go back to dancing but that depends, just dancing to dance or are we talking dancing and competitions? Because if it's the latter, we both know you'll have to travel and you won't be able to keep to this city very long while the competitions last."

I saw his eyes darken slightly at the thought and he frowned, pressing a little closer to my side. I tug him a bit tighter to me as he shakes his head. "I hadn't thought about that. I don't really want to move away from here and I don't want to travel the world any time soon, I like it here, it's quiet and peaceful."

Short version as he wasn't saying it, this place was quieter for his mind. That and we were far enough away from the town centre that it was quieter still. It made me think and realize that what would have been best for him was a place where there were as few upstairs and downstairs neighbours as possible. Quentin had had the right idea with building himself up in that old warehouse. It was a thought to entertain. There was another one just a block away that was essentially still in good condition, it just needed some repairing and fixing up to make it more than livable. I don't know what I hadn't thought of that before.

"I'll be your dancing partner, how's that? Here's another idea that just crossed my mind. There's another warehouse a block away on the other side of Quentin's home, how about we buy that and rebuild it up to suit our needs? Less people around, less distraction?" It's hard to hide the somewhat hopeful note out of my voice but I'd like to think I manage well enough.

He cants his head and moves to straddle me. I settle both my hands low on his hips, fingers just brushing over his skin. He looks at me with those bottomless eyes for a moment, really considering my words before a smile breaks out on his face and he leans forward to kiss me. Not just a peck, a deep, searching sort of kiss and I'm more than happy to press back against him. "I think that would really be wonderful. Wouldn't have to worry about Adela being caught, you could have a huge terrarium for her and a work room for your chocolate and maybe I could have one for this new project I have and maybe, just maybe we could live on the top floor and have the lower floors ready for others like us."

Now that is a brilliant idea. Others with gifts are a bit more close-minded than humans, I've discovered through him, so preparing the bottom two floors so that others like us, should we ever meet any, can have a roof over their heads, is a perfect idea. "You are a genius!"

I move to the edge of the bed, still keeping him on me and I move to my feet. My hands on his ass to hold him up are firm and he laughs, squirming before curling his legs about my waist to keep himself from falling. I walk us to the bathroom before setting him down on the bench from the night before and I feel him shiver against me. I think we're finally heading in the right direction with our lives. All of that thanks to a couple of still fresh from the earth gifted. I wouldn't have expected it.


	18. Play a Game

"So what is this called again?"

"Monopoly." The blank look on his face amuses me more than it should and I can't help it. Yael looks almost just as blank-faced but he hides it well enough. I chuckle softly and Quentin huffs at me. I shrug and Eoghan sticks his tongue out.

"I'm surrounded by children, what am I supposed to do with the lot of you?" I laugh again but shake my head somewhat. Yael blushes and I can't help but wonder. I suppose he might still be intimidated by my size but I'm rather hoping it's more along the lines of respect and a bit of awe, maybe.

I've already explained three times how the game is played and our two newest players still don't seem to understand. Maybe I should try another game, something simpler, like ropes and ladders. Or maybe twister, Eoghan would love twister and that could turn out to be fun but I don't believe Quentin is quite that ready to be physically open with anyone other than Yael. I don't know what other games we could play. This evening is going to drag on if we don't find something to do. I'm not normally restless but it's just one of those things tonight.

"Oh! Eoghan told me about the garden you've got growing on the upper floors, would you care to show me while these two figure out what other game we can play that might not require so many rules?" He blushes again lightly, this time I can tell it's in pleasure that someone else might be interested in his garden and he nods, standing to his feet. He brushes himself clean of invisible dust and motions to the back.

I move to follow him, reaching down to muss Eoghan's hair as I pass by. He huffs indignantly before looking back down to the almost dozen or so boxes of games we'd brought over. Yael was the one who had invited us, something about how he wanted to get to know us a little better still and it felt good to have guests now and again.

He walks down the hallway and to a small corridor, or at least I had mistaken it as a corridor but it's a small staircase that leads up to a door. I follow him quietly, not much minding the quiet at this point. He pulls the first door open, towards himself and I find it a bit strange before I realize that the second door opens towards the garden and I have to assume that the screen door is there to keep the cats out while they still keep the inner door open for a breeze or the scent of the earthy growth there.

There is a scent, it is deep but not overwhelming. I follow him up the stairs and he closes the lower half of the inner door, then reaches out and closes the screen door. I was right on that, at least.

I'm not sure what I had been expecting, a small little garden with a few flowers, something closer to the front yard of some folks who put up a few plants for decoration. I was startled, I was speechless, I was in absolute awe. I could see vegetables growing on one side, small fruits on the other, some trees even in the area that was open to the second floor. That made no sense. I can't see how anything of the sort could grow indoor with so little soil though it could have been deeper than I could see. Maybe his gift really was with nature, it would make sense. There was no way this could be left behind when the world went to hell.

"Wow, Yael, this is beautiful. I have to admit I had expected something like a front yard set up with a few plants, nothing quite of this size. I could spend my afternoons here and I'd feel at such peace." Oh but he blushed and he blushed deeply. He ducked his head and fussed with the sleeves of his long shirt. I laughed gently and touched the small of his back lightly. This guys really wasn't used to compliments, it was sweet.

He breathes in and out as if to calm himself as he looks his garden over. My attention moves towards something in the far back and I slowly start that way. He follows me easily, blinking almost in confusion. I stop next to a small little gathering of stems, it can't be more than four feet tall but it is filled with little golden fruits. I look back to him, my hand out to pluck just one and he smiles before laughing. It is such a clear sound. I pluck one of the golden raspberries from its stem and put it into my mouth. It is just perfect! "Now you have just made me a very hooked fan. These are my favourites, I might just be snagging some off of here every few days if that's all right with you."

He laughs again, his eyes bright and pleased. His smile is ever present and still there is a hint of colour to his cheeks. "I don't mind. I prefer the deeper red kind and they're just about ready. I planted a little bit of everything. So much I haven't ever eaten yet, I wanted to try a bit of everything. I even planted cucamelons."

I'm the one with the confused look this time and he's laughing, it's a playful sort of sound and I shake my head. "It's a tiny cucumber, the size of a grape and they say it has a bit of a sour taste."

Though now he pauses and looks out the window and from where we're standing I can see the other warehouse. It is its closest and only neighbour on this side. On the other side there's nothing else and on the back, like this property, there's just grass and weeds and trees. "Eoghan said something about how you bought the land and the warehouse, are you going to fix it up like this one?"

Ah, sneaky little lover of mine. I smile and turn, setting my hand to the small of Yael's back once more to half-lead him back towards the door and the ground floor. "The apartment we live in has too many tenants. Because of his gift, he needs a bit of a quieter place and I thought that building up the warehouse the way you two have here would be a wonderful idea. It would mean more space for him to work on whatever projects he wants and I'd have more room for Adela, too."

"Adela?" He looks puzzled as I open the doors and he steps down lightly. I close the lower half of the inner door and the screen door. The soft earthy scent is a good thing. "My snake, she's still small but she'll grow and she's very friendly."

His eyes grow in size and he looks surprised. There's not a single hint of fear in those wide, too pale orbs though. "Maybe I could meet her?"

"Of course, we can do that. We have an exchange of goods to see through as is, I think you're just about done?"

"Just about, putting on the finishing touches in the next few days." He looks so pleased with himself, it's sweet. We walk back to the living room where they're still discussing games and none has been pulled out yet.

"So, what game are we playing after all?"

"Twister!"

Well this is going to be an interesting evening.


	19. Apple Tree

"And those are not from the market?" His baffled look is more amusing than it should have been and I cant my head, watching him as he takes one of the apples and brings it up to his nose to breathe in its scent. I snicker and shake my head. "They smell so, so, I don't know, pure!"

At times it's easy to forget he's so much older than me. He still acts like a kid on some days and it makes it easier to adapt to knowing him and Alexis both. He's friendly and while I wasn't so sure about what life would have been like at the beginning with him about, especially during that week he stayed with us, he's proven that he's a wonderful sort of friend and he makes life worth living a little more. Quentin does most of that work himself by just being by myself but Eoghan helps. Alexis helps too in his own way.

"No, they're not from the market. Just like the golden raspberries and those are for Alexis, he is busy?" He must be, else I assume I would have seen him peeking out of that one room I know is his working place when I first came in. 

Eoghan nods and laughs softly. "Yeah, he's working on a commission piece but I think if he knew what you brought in for us, he'd have been out of here in a heartbeat."

Well, I practically plucked all of the ready ones out of the plant. I still have as many growing and the basket is huge. It was heavy to carry. I kept the red ones at home, those are mine and I'll be making jam out of part of them and more than likely some pie and ice cream with the rest. "The apples came from the same place. I have a little tree and it was heavy with fruit so I brought you guys some and kept some for home. In the next few months I'll be overrun by more vegetable than I know what to do with so I might be unloading some of those on you guys too if that's all right."

By the pleased look on his face I was ready to assume it was more than all right. It was fantastic. Who wouldn't want fresh, home grown fruits and vegetables, really? "I can even help you carry some of them over here if you want, you can just call and I'll be over if I'm not busy with something. Which I'm not really that often these days so it's all good!"

Well, if they were working on selling the building again and setting up to fix and renovate the warehouse next to ours, I suppose that was an understatement but he seems to like to keep busy and I don't fault him for that, I would too if it kept the voices out. I don't know much about his gift but from what Alexis said, the busier or more focused Eoghan is, the better it is for him.

I can hear the door to that office I've not seen and I doubt I will click open. There comes Alexis looking out of the room and he smiles warmly when he spots us both by the table. I brighten up and grin up at him. "I brought you some raspberries!"

Almost ten pounds of raspberries really. His eyes grow wide and he walks over. Like a kid in a candy store, oh goodness he looks so much younger just now, it's amazing what a little kindness can do for someone! I can't help the laugh as he literally grabs a handful, grins and wanders right on back to his work room. That's more than fine by me, at least I know he's aware of their presence and I doubt they'll last long.

Eoghan snickers and shakes his head. "He just loves the stuff. I don't know I think I'll stick to the apples. Want me to walk you back over? It's cold out."

"No, I'm all right. I have my coat and it's just a few paces off. I'll have to walk longer when you guys move into the other building." Just barely but still. "I'll see you guys soon."

I do hug him and kiss his cheek, it just seems natural now and I let myself out.

  


I barely took half of the apples out of that tree and it still is ready to spring some more. It was overloaded with flowers just a couple of weeks back. It's hard to believe how quickly everything is growing but maybe it has to do with my gift. I like thinking about it that way, it seems less, well, evil. 'Demons' it makes it seem all so bad. When people talk about demons they talk about how they're evil and dangerous and so many things I don't know where to start. I don't even want to think about it.

I hang my coat on the portmanteau once I'm inside and rub my hands together for warmth. It really is getting colder out there. Not yet winter but we'll be there before too long. I flop down in front of the fireplace for a few moments to finish warming up my bones and I tell myself I'll have to put on some gloves next time else I want my poor and precious little fingers to fall off.

Once I'm sufficiently warm, I wander in search of Quentin and I find him floating peacefully in the pool. I admit I haven't been in that water in quite some time and it is tempting. Still I know I can't yet, I have a few more things to check upstairs in the gardens and it might take up another hour or two of my time.

At times it feels like a chore but once I make it up there and the scent of nature and life hits me, it's like I forget about how much work it all is and I just fall into the habit of it. How I check the water levels, cut off dead bits and trim too long ones, feed them a bit, add some dirt here and there. It's all worth it though. Most of our recent fruits have come from up here and soon nearly all of our vegetables will too.

  


It took three hours to finish everything up and four baskets later. One of raspberry, one of mixed strawberries and blueberries and one more of apples. I'm more than pleased to head back downstairs, to head to the pool are and drop my clothes by the wall before doing a quick rinse up under the shower head. Quentin is still floating on his little air mattress and I have to assume he's asleep.

I know I'll ache in the morning but for now it's still bearable. I slip into the water and slowly waddle my way over. I have to be careful in how I pull myself over to his side to not capsize the floater and send both of us under. He startles just slightly when I ease up, warm and slightly dripping against him. He merely pulls me closer and settles again. I drop my head to his shoulder and close my eyes, letting my toes sit in the water. I can rest here for a while more, it'll be just fine. 


	20. Good Medecine

"This thing tastes awful, why are you even growing it in the garden?" Poor guy. I feel bad for him, I really do but he's been coughing lately and he's been a little feverish so I figured a tea of certain medicinal herbs would be of good use. I know he's being a bit childish though, I sweetened that tea best I could and it tasted fine to me. Then again, we don't quite appreciate sugar the same way. I just about don't care for it at all and he likes it in slight quantities.

"It's good for you, Quentin. You're getting sick. You've been complaining that your throat is hurting you and these herbs are a natural kind of medicine and it's good for you. So don't fuss and drink it up."

He huffs, mutters, grumbles but sips at the steaming cup again. I know he'll complain about the taste all day and evening and whenever he'll can but it's good for him and I'd rather he be healthy and complaining than ill and complaining. He does complain quite a bit when he's sick. I don't know whether to be amused or not when it happens. Not that I should be amused when he's ill, he rarely is, but he gets so childish that the situation ends up feeling rather childish in the end.

"Once you're done with that, I'll bring you a bowl of sweet berries drizzled with honey, how does that sound?" Oh look at his eyes lightning up just slightly and he nods. That's a good start for me, maybe he'll even manage to forgive me before the end of our lives is over. An overstatement, I know he'll forgive me, he's not even going to hold a grudge but he'll still complain if I bring another cup of the stuff anywhere near him any time soon.

While he sips at his tea, his, to me, delicious tea, I wander back towards the kitchen and I pull out two bowls. In them I put a few blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, grapes, pitted cherries and a few other plump looking fruits. Over one bowl I drizzle a good amount of honey though I make sure to not put too much. On the other I sprinkle just a bare dusting of maple sugar. I don't like sweet things overmuch but a little bit of sweetness goes a long way and I can appreciate that.

Everything is put back where it belongs in the fridge and on the counter before I locate two forks, set everything on a small platter with a cup of (non-medicinal) tea for myself and I head back to the living room where he's still pouting slightly over his cup of tea though I can tell it's mostly empty. Very good.

I set the tray down and I settle next to him, making sure to press my shoulder securely to his own. I kiss his cheek and smile at him ever softly. "I love you, Quentin."

It's not the first time I've said the words though I don't say them too often yet. I just love watching his eyes when I do though. First they widen as if I'd stated something he'd never heard before and then they soften to the point where I'm almost led to believe he could cry. I chuckle, nuzzle his cheek and peer into his cup. "Just a couple more sips and you can have your fruits, I promise."

Pouting he might have been but he's no longer complaining about the bitter taste. Maybe I hadn't stirred the previous doze of honey I poured in there enough and it all mainly landed at the bottom of it all. If that's the case, then this thing is bound to be too sweet for me at this point and just sweet enough for him. 

I shift my weight down a little and I rest my head against his shoulder. Just relaxing until he takes those last two sips. He turns his eyes to me, as if asking for permission and I take his cup, set it down, reach for both bowls and hand him his, along with the fork. This is a simple enough treat. We don't usually eat food that has been overly processed. At least not since most of our fruits and vegetables come from the garden upstairs.

He smiles at me, this dazzling, pleased smile he has only for me and starts in on his fruit, mixing them all up to get them all covered in the sticky sweetness of the honey before he takes a few slow bites. He's never actually wolfed any of his food down. He always takes time to taste everything as if it was going to be the last time he's eating the stuff. I used to eat faster myself but I learned to slow down with him. Out there, you didn't know if your food would last or if someone would steal it from you.

  


When fruits and teas have all been had, we merely settle where we were on the couch. He partly sprawls out on one side and I nestle against him. It amuses him every time, I see his lips quirk in that playful sort of smile. I'm taller than him, my feet are usually off the couch when we're settled but I hardly care, I want to feel protected when I'm with him and being settling this way I feel as protected as I'll ever be.

Height doesn't have much of a say on our activities. I've seen and heard so many people say that because someone is taller, they should be doing this and that and there's a world of rot to those words. Sure, some things are easier one way over another but we manage to work tiny details out like these without an issue. To hell with labels, they sure as hell have no sway on our life.

I nuzzle at his shoulder and he chuckles, his fingers are brushing over my shoulder, moving up to push some hair from my face and I grin playfully at him. This couch has seen some activity since we bought it. Mostly innocent activity, we're not even up to having sex and I'm not sure if it'll come any time soon. We've done plenty of hands-on exploration but never really gone to that line of what I call no return. We're in no rush either and I'm glad that he agrees with me on that subject.

Playfully, I rumble at him and I close my eyes, nuzzling all the closer to his shoulder. This is such a comfortable spot for me, I don't know that I could ever not feel comfortable against him. Even when he was sharing my bed to keep me from the nightmares, this was a comfortable position for me. His arm around me, just holding me securely, making sure I'm not going anywhere. It's all I honestly want to ask of him and it's all I do ask for, in the end.

I know we're more than likely to end up drifting off and sleeping here for a while, I don't know that this is going to be much of an issue.


	21. Impossible

"We can't do that, sir."

"You can't do that. I've seen pools on the roof of several different hotels and you're telling me that you can't set it up on top of this one?" It was hard to believe. If it could be done for hotels, why the hell not for this soon to be renovated warehouse? Of course it still was in poor condition but that was to be expected, I was in the middle of looking the plans over with the team leaders.

"The roof isn't strong enough, stable. Adding that kind of thing up here would cave everything in. What you're asking for is impossible." These guys had to be morons. I have to struggle to rein in my temper when I'm working with idiots like this guy else who knows where his bones might end up. I've had long enough a life to learn to not let my gift get the better of me but at times I swear some folks go out of their ways.

"Look." I point at a design on the plan. "The whole floors to ceiling structure is being reinforced, done over in some places so it could support the weight of the pool and the set up that was designed. The other team I checked this with said it would easily be achieved. So you better talk to your boss about how you're saying that what was once deemed more than possible before the plans were even properly completed is now somehow impossible."

Now I think he's starting to get the picture. I think the worn clothes and more than worn jacket were leading him to believe he was working with a know-nothing from the countryside who built things out of debris for fun or something. I am not a redneck. I have nothing against rednecks. I just know what the hell I'm doing and I hate being second guessed. I want this pool on my roof and I will have this pool on my roof. With greenhouse over it to keep it nice and cozy and warm and heaters and all so it can be used year round. You'd think I'm asking for the moon.

"Well, all right sir. I'll talk to my supervisor about this but I'm pretty sure we won't be able to set up a pool up here." Ugh. He's still not looking at the big picture. Not the way his eyes sweep over the roof as it is now. I could shake him to get him to see the point that this is old, it will be reinforced and replaced. Some mortals are worse than others. Then again in the years I've been alive, I can say this in general, some folks, mortals and not alike, are worse than others.

  


I spent another hour trying to get him to understand what I wanted with the crew and he still wasn't getting it so I pulled out my phone and walked off. Placed a single call and this guy better not be team leader when they come back to really start the whole construction process.

The moment I step up into the apartment I can feel my mood begin to shift subtly and I blame the scent in the air. I think Yael dropped off more raspberries and Eoghan might just have tried his hand at a pie of sorts. The air is filled with heavenly scents and I feel the anger slowly drain out of me. The sight of my lover wearing a dark apron over his clothes, dusted with flour, helps a little more still and I feel my lips begin to quirk lightly at the corners.

"This is all so domestic. My having to fight with the construction crew to get them to understand that the plans are not only possible, they're very well designed and you here at home, baking away to your heart's content. I feel better now than I did just a few moments ago, thank you." Oh the smile, he grins ever brightly and winks before he's turning around to the oven and pulling out a beautifully golden pie. I'll assume it's raspberry filling inside but I can see he also has a bowl on the side and I'm thinking that and the whipped cream will be going on top once it has cooled some. He's spoiling me.

"So tell me about the idiocies of the workers we hired to restore the warehouse to a state even better than its former glory?" I can tell by the soft tone of his voice that he's actually genuinely curious about my day, not like some temporary past lovers who only uttered the words of curiosity about my day to get into my good graces.

I shrug and finally take off my jacket, scarf and gloves. "He just kept going on and on about how it was impossible to have the pool set up on the roof. He kept on looking around at the roof as it is now and I wanted to bash his head in for it. His superior said the plans were more than fine, simple to work with really so I can't begin to understand why this moron can't see the big picture. I called his boss to complain and I'm just hoping that by the time they come back, he'll be either gone or if he's still on the team, he won't be at its head."

I'm honestly tired, worn to almost itty bitty bits and I grumble. I'm hungry but I'm not. My emotions are conflicted and that's because I've had to struggle some with my temper. It always leaves me feeling a bit off. When he steps towards me, I merely lean down to peck his lips just lightly. "I'm going to go on ahead and have myself a steaming bath for a bit, I need to relax in a bad way and I think that if I took you to bed, I might just be too rough. We can't have that."

He simply nods, understanding well enough. We trust one another to keep the other safe. This is in every possible way or situation to the best of our ability and it also extends to the time we spend together in the bedroom. Hurting him is the last thing I want. So a bath is the best option.

I walk to the bathroom, only shedding my clothes once I'm there. I take a towel and set it on the heater, turning it on slightly. I turn to the tub and run the water as hot as I know I can handle. A few drops of bamboo scented oil, something I began to appreciate on an old trip when I went to Japan. I turn the water off and slip into the tub with a low sigh of content.

I'll teach them the impossible. Honestly. I'm aware that this is the first building I'm renovating so thoroughly but it certainly is not the first house I have had built. I know what can or cannot be achieved and I know that a pool set up there is more than possible. Some people, I swear.


	22. Intense Clarity

"Look at the size of that thing, I bet the images are clear and detailed as hell. This is insane, where are you going to put it?" Well I have to ask, it sure as hell isn't going to fit on the walls we have now and I don't know how long it was going to be until the warehouse was in good enough condition for us to even think of moving in. The workers have been mostly working on the inside, adding columns and walls and little by little they're doing up the outside too. They destroy the covering of the wall on one side and one floor only and then rebuild it up. It's getting colder as it is so I don't think the outside walls will be done before the new season sets in, I know they don't work in too cold weather. It's a shame. I wish we could have thought about this warehouse thing earlier, or that it had crossed my mind alone.

"For now it's going into storage with the rest of my things that are being shipped in from Los Angeles. Once our new home is built and ready, we'll get everything moved in." I can feel something swell deeply inside me. He's having all he owns shipped here, right here in this little city to live with me. Permanently almost. He wouldn't do it if it wasn't permanent. I feel my eyes grow wet and I wipe them off at his confused and slightly concerned look.

"I'm alright, just a little surprised, that's all. If only you knew how long I've honestly wanted us to have a home together, a more permanent one. That we wouldn't go our separate ways after a decade or two together." He gives me this quiet, 'go on' look and I can't help the half-hearted shrug. What am I supposed to say, that I've been lonely as hell without him, that I know his going away was for the good of us as he was getting too restless and could have been dangerous? That I should have told him I more than likely could have taken the hits if they had come? There's nothing to really say to that so all I can really do is give him that half-smile I always have on hand for times when I don't know much of what's going on or what I should be doing or answering.

I look back to the television he mentioned having ordered and I can't help but shake my own. I suppose it would be an upgrade. I still have a really old television, the kind that were heavy and just about square. This one is going to be thin and flat and huge. Everything is going to be so clear on there, wow. 

I laugh briefly and wipe at my eyes again. He curls his arms about mine, rests his chin on my shoulder and just hugs me from behind for a moment. "I wanted to tell you before, to tell you last time before we went our ways or the time before or even the one before that one but I couldn't. I could see in your eyes how much you wanted to get away, how terrified you were of hurting me. I think I broke a little inside every time you leave."

I guess it's true in a way. Every time he leaves I feel something in me shatter some and when he comes back it's a struggle to not cling for all I'm worth, to just 'ease back into it' as some would say. I just want to fling myself at him and cling to him until he peels me off or until I become one with it. It gets harder every time. He's moving his things here, all of his things. Or at least the things in the states. I know he has little summer homes all over the world but those are different and he only ever spends a couple of weeks up to a couple of months out there.

It's a bit hard to imagine that he's staying with me permanently. I turn my head slightly to look up to him and while I know I could prod at his mind to find the answer, I've long ago decided that I wouldn't pry unless I was invited. "What about when you need to get away? When you feel that your gift needs a rest and a release from its confines?"

He stays quiet for a few moment, chin still on my shoulder before his lips curl into a slight sort of smile. "I have houses everywhere on the planet, I can go away for a few weeks, a month or two if I really need to. We don't really need to be apart that long anymore, it makes no sense."

My breath catches lightly and I sniffle again. Still I refuse to cry so instead I laugh though the tears though fall and trickle on their way down my cheeks and I let them. I haven't been this happy in so long. I think I could explode. Everything is just suddenly so much clearer. I feel as if I'd been living in a filthy world, wearing filthy glasses but they've just been cleaned and everything makes sense.

I turn around in his hold and press against him, curling my arms tightly about him and squeezing my eyes shut. I can do with being hugged for a while, it feels just right. I don't want to go anywhere. We can look at anything else we might want to add to our home, our mostly permanent home when I'm done being an invading kind of soul. It might take a while.

  


After a little while spent just clinging to him, we draw apart and see to putting things mostly away, a thought does cross my mind as I finish cleaning up and I can't help but ponder it aloud. "What about the whole being an attorney business, think you can do that from here?"

He shrugs again in that 'too early to know' way. I know he won't give it up but I guess he's just getting started on this one decade or two of chocolate and sweets making, so there is plenty of time to figure things out. Who knows, by the time he's ready to switch back to the law, they might have discovered means of faster transport, or he might be able to do the court thing from afar with a camera and a computer or something. I know someone who has very good knowledge of computers and things such as holograms. Who knows how much further along with technology things will be by then. It could be interesting.

When the apartment is as clean as it will ever get (we've been letting it get messy lately but we've both been terribly busy), I head to the bedroom to flop down to the bed. I'm honestly exhausted. It's more of an emotional sort of exhaustion but it's one I know a nap won't hurt. I don't expect him to join me but he does. He takes his shoes off (I'll never understand why he wears them inside) and settles into the bed. It only takes me a moment before I'm rolling over to nestle against him. I have all of him forever, I'm going to keep on cherishing every moment.


	23. A Bird Cage

I didn't buy this on a whim. I've seen it in the front window of that antique shop for weeks at this point. Every time I would walk on by it would be there, as if waiting for me. I kept on telling myself that I wouldn't take it this time, maybe next time if it was still there. Every time I saw it, a project would begin to slowly take shape in my mind until today. Today I saw that project clearly and I couldn't leave it there. It was big and clunky, a lot heavier than I had expected it to be. It might need a bit of polishing and love to get it to look really good again but I think it was more than worth it.

"You know we can't really have any birds because of the cats, right?" Quentin, on the other hand, doesn't seem to think so. I am well aware that we have two Bengal cats that love to chase everything and hunt all they can. It's one of those things that went through my mind when I would walk by the beauty every time.

I have to roll my eyes at him as I finish setting up the antique cage on my desk where I had cleared a space just before going. My mind had been made when I stepped out that door. "I know we can't have birds and I didn't buy it for the 'bird' part of it, I bought it because it's an old but still absolutely beautiful bit of art. The way it's made and set up. I want to create something about it, if nothing more than to hang it up with some candles set up in there."

He looks it over for a long moment and I almost believe he'll tell me to drop it back outside but he eventually smiles and kisses my cheek, I sag a little. "I guess it could look nice with a few candles in it, but it is pretty rusty right now so it's hard to imagine much of anything. I'm sorry of I made it sound like I didn't want it in the house."

All is forgiven, with him it's always forgiven, or just about to an extent. I shrug and chuckle softly. "It's old, it'll need a lot of work but it will keep me busy on this for a few days to a week at most. Since we're done with the present Alexis wanted for Eoghan. He should be by soon to get it. I'm thinking this cage, once it's all prettied up again, it could be a welcome into your new home sort of gift for them when they can move into the warehouse. I know it's a long time off but I think it would be nice."

Again he looks at the cage and the smile is easier to come to his lips this time. I think those might have been the magic words. Maybe he was going to accept the cage grudgingly just for me sake but what he says next stuns me more than anything else. "That might not be a bad idea. That means you'll have to find another one to restore so we can keep it here, though."

Well then!

  


I spend the better part of that week in my studio though I've set myself up in a mock cloth prison. I've hung up bits of old bed sheets around a certain area of the studio so I could work on sanding and airbrushing this cage back to beauty again without having old dust everywhere. It would have been a pain to fix up.

I had to also buy a mask else I know that by now I would have suffocated to hell and back. This created so much more dust than I had expected. It's a good learning experience though. Now I know how to better prepare myself if I'm going to try and scrub the rust out of things and I've found the right kind of paint to get this project going. I'd like to think it's going to be beautiful and appreciated. For the time being, once it'll be done, it'll hang here though. Maybe if I find another cage before they move into the building next door (that I'm pretty sure won't happen before spring as is), I can fix it up and let them have that one, keep the first one I ever made here. It makes more sense.

Quentin makes sure I take plenty of breaks, I eat my food and keep a bottle of water on hand. Of course I kept the water on hand but I also kept it under a small cloth of its own. The first time I took a sip, the top was covered with rust dust, it had been unpleasant and I had to dump my water, rinse out the bottle and start over while keeping the top on.

  


I'm plenty proud of my work on this cage. At first all I had thought about was clean it up, paint it up and hang it. I've added little things here and there, small metal works, just a flower here, a fake bird there. There's still more than enough room to set up candles in there and light them up without having to open the cage and that was the plan. There's nothing that can burn in the setup which is even better, that would have been terrible. 

For now, it's set up in that room that we've set up as a proper guest room though it's still a slight sort of thing. It has a bed, a dresser and a bedside table. Now in the corner it has a small shelf-set and the cage is atop it, looking proud and fitting with the rest of the decor. I'm proud of myself for my first job doing this.

Of course, I also took breaks while I was working to take care of my usual mock-chores. Check up on the garden, make sure to gather what is ready to be eaten and all. It's automated for the most part but still these fruits and veggies don't pick themselves and the flowers won't prune themselves. Quentin offered to do it in my stead but I didn't want to completely lose myself to this project.

He looks happy to see the bird cage where I set it at right now and I can't help but be even more pleased with myself. At first I really was certain he wouldn't want it anywhere near the house at all so it's comforting to know he's changed his mind. I admit, it wouldn't really have fit with the current set up, with the mostly modern look of the living room and the kitchen. The guest room however is a bit more antiquated so it's a good spot for it.

I will be looking to find another one and if I can't, I might just try to get all the materials I need, find a fitting image and see about building them one up from scratch, that might make it an even more meaningful gift and I'm hoping they'd like it. Still if I do that it might take up even more of my time so I'll just try to see about finding one either in the antique shop again or online. You can find just about anything and everything you want online at this point.


	24. Say It Again

The way his eyes lit up when I finally gathered the courage to say those words. These emotions still feel so new to me. Frightening in their own way but I'm aware and I know that what I feel for him is real. It isn't just about desire or lust or hormones. We've only really 'been' together for about four months now but we've lived under the same roof for nearly a year. I knew from the start that there was something between us, that there would be a bond stronger than that of friendship, I was just afraid of moving too fast. I was afraid of stepping where I shouldn't have.

  


"Say it again." His voice is soft, a little dreamy. He looks at me with those icy blue eyes. When I first met him I thought he was blind though it didn't make sense, he couldn't have drawn what he had if he'd been blind. I reach out and brush my fingers over his cheek ever softly. He's trembling and my lips quirk lightly, not quite playfully, it's more a pleased, content sort of smile.

A small part of me wants to jump his bones and I don't know where it came from. It's a sudden desire but I'm not even sure how I'd go about doing that kind of thing so I repress it. I see the hope in his eyes begin to fade lightly and I shake my head. "Just thinking about how much I want you in my life and trying to see if there isn't anything else I can do to make it all better."

These are not the words he wanted to hear again, I can see it in his face, in his eyes and he sighs but doesn't move from his spot. He's settled on me. We're on the couch, we stopped watching whatever it was that was on television a little while ago. Make out sounded the better way to pass time. We're still fully clothed, we always take our time to explore every little bit of one another. I smile at him again and I brush some hair from his face. "I love you, Yael."

There, his eyes brighten up again and he breathes another sweet note. He presses his face to my chest as if to hide from the world and I'm sure I would feel his blush if I still wasn't wearing my shirt. I can see the redness on his cheeks even from this angle. If he wants to half-hide from me I won't take that away from him. It's his right to try to hide the delicious blush that cover his cheeks and make him all the more desirable.

For a long time we don't move from our spots, just pressed together, relaxing and appreciating the present moment for all it is. As I begin to feel myself drift towards a desire for sleep however I gently shake his shoulder. We would both be more comfortable in bed and it would leave us with less kinks to worry about come morning.

He pulls away and stretches before holding his hands out to me and I smile at him before easing up to my feet. We both still essentially sleep in different beds, mostly by the fact that all my clothes are in my room and his in his own but we've been sharing a bed to sleep in since his nightmares.

We both head out different ways, mostly to get some sleeping clothes on since the air is cool and while sleeping naked is wonderful it isn't all that comfortable. We meet back up in the middle with a laugh and I turn back to head to my room and he follows. I suppose at some point we'll either transform either one of our room into something else and transfer whoever's clothes into the bedroom that will remain. That will be another beautiful step forward for us.

I move to sit on the bed, pulling the sheets up to me comfortably as he settles next to me. I turn to face him, cup his face in my hands and I kiss him softly, tenderly. I pull back just barely, letting my lips brush his still. "I love you."

These words will not lose their meaning any time soon but now that I've found the courage to utter them they feel so much more powerful. He shivers lightly against my lips, beneath my fingers and he presses his lips back to mine to seal the breathing gap that I had allowed to come between us.

  


Sleep finds us easily, nestled together, tangled to a point with the sheets and blankets pulled up to our necks. This is a warm and comfortable embrace we share and I don't think anything could really ruin it at this point. Part of me is aware that we could lose everything (or almost, I'd be more than a little saddened to lose Areli and Lavi!) and I'd still be happy because I have him with me. He's the most important person to me.

He nuzzles my shoulder in his rest and nestles a little closer still. I can't fault him for seeking warmth. I would do the same in his position, after all.

  


I wake up after a few hours and just watch him sleep, feel him resting against me. The slow rise and fall of his chest, the way his fingers twitch slightly to go with whatever it he's dreaming about. At times I wonder what it would be like in his mind, in his dreams. I know I can't see any of that but it doesn't hurt to wonder about that kind of thing.

He stills after a few moments and I almost hold my breath, part of me wondering if somehow I woke him up but he sleeps on, his breathing steady. Just settled into another point of his sleep pattern. I'm just glad he seems to no longer be having the nightmares that left him waking up screaming. Those terrified me. Mostly because I didn't know how to make any of it better.

When he does wake just an hour or so later, he looks up to me with those slightly dazed, sleepy eyes. He rubs one, then the other and he smiles at me. "I had the most beautiful of dreams."

I quirk a brow at him as he slowly sits up and stretches, yawning widely. Now that I can mostly move again I follow suit, sitting up and stretching the numbness out of my limbs. I'm not going to prod, he rarely leaves his sentences unfinished like this and he hasn't really hidden any dreams from me recently. Some are a lot more vivid than others.

"I dreamed that you'd said… well those words." Ah, he thinks he's dreamed it all and he's afraid of uttering them in case I might not be comfortable with the idea of saying them yet myself, that's sweet in a way I guess. I lean closer to him, just brushing my lips to his tenderly and I can't help the playful grin that finds me.

"I love you, Yael."


	25. Can't Be Sure

"Have you had time to look at his mind a bit more in depth to know what we're working with?" His voice is currently painfully grating on my nerves but that's because of the migraine that took hold just a few minutes ago and I can't blame him for it. I haven't had one of those in years and it came out of nowhere, I don't even know how to really take care of it. I could have some pills, some meds but I don't know if they'd help.

I grunt something intelligible and he looks at me with worry. He reaches out to touch my temple but I back away with a shake of my head. The issue with these headaches, these migraines, is that they open the doorway. That little door I have in my head that keeps all the voices out. Touch makes it worse, it's like it amplifies everything and it makes me even more miserable. 

Still I slowly breathe in and out, I struggle a little to calm myself and try not to focus on the slow throb of the strengthening pain. "I don't know for certain. Last time I tried to read him he realized I was doing something and I had to pull him into the mindscape. From what he can do with the garden I'd have to say he's earth-gifted but I can't be sure."

The worry etched on his face grows, my voice is whisper soft and I curl my fingers over my ears. It's a useless sort of trick, it doesn't cut out anything at all but it's what I used to do when I was younger, thinking it would do me some, any good.

"Go on and into the bedroom, Eoghan. I've set up some wards around the four corners, it cuts out most of the gifts' effects." I didn't even know he could do something like that. I also wondered if it would help with me. If it helps him with his gift then all the better but we're different and I can't help but worry that what works for him won't work for me.

Still I wobble slightly to my feet and I can see it in his eyes that he wants to help me but he keeps his distance. The last time he touched me while I was dealing with a developing migraine, I had a severe blast from his gift and I ended up spending about a week in a sort of coma. It had been unpleasant from what I recall of it.

  


The moment I step in the bedroom it's like I've entered a soundproof room. It's quiet. I'd never noticed that kind of quietness before and it leaves me baffled. My head is still throbbing in a painful way but I can't hear anything. Maybe the wards or whatever it is work better when in the presence of a migraine. I'll have to thank him once it passes. Usually it takes a few hours though the last one that made its home in my head took two days to leave. I don't want to be away from him for two days, even if I can help it in any way.

I don't know that he can or not touch me here with these wards and not send me into kingdom come for the next week or so. It's tempting to try it and I think I'd be more than willing to face the consequences. I don't know that he might be willing to tempt fate, however. I don't blame him.

"Alexis?" It's so rare that I call him by his full name but my head still is pounding in a bad way though the lack of voice really is a comfort. He looks into the bedroom, a small almost hopeful smile to his lips. I hold out my arms to him and his smile turns into a frown of uncertainty.

"I think it's worth a try. I know you don't want to hurt me but I can't hear anything, not even the whisper of any voice. If I get a blast from your touch, I'll live with it. I know you'll worry but I just, this migraine is killing me and I just want to try to see if your presence might not comfort me, please?"

He still looks torn but he steps closer, into the bedroom and he closes the door. I can feel the pressure in my brain ease a little more still. Whatever these wards, they're powerful and if I had known about them before I might have asked him to put them up all around the apartment. Maybe around our new house, depends on how draining it is for me.

I move to settle on the bed, setting the covers just so and he rounds the bed, tugging the curtains shut as he goes. It doesn't change the pulse from the migraine but it does help a bit with the light and less light is less pain for me so I'm thankful. He shuts the window curtains just the same and then he's back about on his side of the bed. "I really don't want to hurt you, Eoghan."

I smile at him best I can and just hold my hand out to him. "Just a little touch, it'll be a start and we know that the more we touch the clearer the link is. If I feel little to nothing with a little touch, it'll be a star, we'll just move gradually."

He still doesn't look convinced but he settles onto his side of the bed. He reaches out and brushes the tips of his fingers to mine. I feel a little jolt of energy but nothing like what had me conk out in a bad way last time. I nod and he eases just a little closer, pressing his palm to mine without ever breaking contact. I feel nothing more, no extra jolt and no pull. I smile a little more and he presses his second hand to mind. Again there is just a little something, like a brief electric shock, static more than likely is the sensation but that's all it is.

"I think we'll be good. I just get this little zaps, like we're both charged shock full of static electricity but that's all. Please?" Still he moves slowly, hand brushing over my arm, over my chest and I feel a bit of a stronger charge but not enough to make me want to change my mind. "Please."

He sighs but settles down without ever releasing my hand. It seems to be our main link, as if he's afraid that if he lets go of my hand I might hit the floor or something and I suppose I'm thankful to him for that. Once he's settled, I move to put one hand on his chest and he releases the one he had been holding. I slide it down to his shoulder, over to his arm as I move to rest myself against him. I hiss slightly at a brief shock I get when I press my chest to his side but it's all there is to it.

I feel tears prick at my eyes as I curl as close to him as I can and he settles his arm around me. "Thank you. This place is so quiet. The pain is still unbearable but I can't hear anything and if I can't hear anything then it's all the better. The pain will recede, I just don't know how long it'll take. "If you need to go anywhere, just say so. Once you're done you can come back and we'll take the slow resettle like we just did and I think we'll be good. Please just don't stray too long, I think I might go insane. I hate these migraines."

I know he does do and he only hugs me closer. I close my eyes and try to think of nothing, try to forget the world exists for a while and try to get better.


	26. Ribbons

I don't know whose bright idea it had been. I can't say whether I should be amused or horrified at this point. It's a little bit of both just now and I'm staring at my reflection as little as I can because I can't take myself seriously if I look for more than a split second.

"When are those coming out of may hair, Quentin?" I cringe at the tone of my own voice, I sound absolutely petulant and I hate it. Still, most of these ribbons are out of my reach or placed just so in my hair and if I try to take them out myself, it seems to worsen things and they become even more tangled. It wasn't so bad at first with just one or two but now I lost count of how many they've put in there, both of them. At least Alexis kept out of it.

This isn't in the least bit funny, in the long run, at least not for me. I don't know what was going on through their minds when they decided that this new box of ribbons that just popped up in the mail—like that dress so long ago (to me it feels long ago)—were going to look good in my hair.

The earthy toned ones I don't mind as much but now I look like someone puked broken rainbows in my hair and I've tried getting them out and I just can't. I'm starting to get frustrated, just sitting here and waiting. Yes, we've taken advantage of boxes just randomly coming in named to either one of us before, the dress, the silk flowers, the confetti, but this is past my comfort point. I don't care if I'm being childish but I'm rather careful of how I treat my hair and this is just too much.

I don't even know where Quentin is at this point, he and Eoghan went off a while ago, I don't know how long and just left me here to my own devices, to somehow deal with this humiliation. I don't think he even realizes how much I hate this. I suppose I should have said no more clearly when they were putting all of them on. I only reacted when they were all done and I saw my reflection. I guess to them it was surprise more than anything else.

  


When I was young, from what little memories I still retain of the time before Sterling died, I was picked on a lot. Mostly by the slightly older kids who were trying to understand whether I was a boy or a girl. I'm aware my face is rather effeminate, I can't help that, I was born this way and it's not going to change. I could deal with it well enough. Often though there were struggles and fights. They'd put me in dresses and would parade me around.

One time, when I fought hard as I could and accidentally broke the arm of one of the kids picking on me, they cornered me and sheared all my hair off. It was ugly and the folks who ran the orphanage could only shave everything off it was so uneven, there was nothing that could be done about it. I was so ashamed, painfully ashamed of this that I spent almost the following year not going outside to play or spending time with anyone. Sterling would come about and spend some time with me but even that it took some time before I let him near me.

It took forever for my hair to grow back, by the time he died and I was left on my own to run off, it barely was long enough to brush my chin and that had been years back that it had been cut. I back then assumed that it was one of those things that made me less wanted by the adults. I wasn't as pretty or something.

  


There are footsteps coming back into the living room and I can't help but curl in a slight ball of misery. If this is what he wanted, this is what he's getting. A small part of me is aware that this was just a playful game for him but anything that involves my hair in most any way terrifies me. It's just one of those things I have issues with. Letting anyone near my hair with anything is a struggle for me.

"Yael?" He sounds a little worried, good. I managed to tear all of two ribbons out of my hair and it was unpleasant, I don't know how he attached those in but they're just not going anywhere unless he does something about it. I also moved from the living room to my room and I shut the door, it's something I never do.

"Yael? Come on, it wasn't that bad, was it? I guess it looked a little weird but it's nothing to be mad about, right?" Just like when I first started living here, the uncertainty. How I'd raise my voice just slightly to catch his attention and he'd cringe. I think he's starting to realize just how he's messed up.

I hear him talk softly and steps start to retreat. His own move forward. I guess Eoghan still was with him. He'll have some apologizing to do too, it was his idea when he saw the box.

At first when they left I was in a panic and I pondered just cutting it all off but then I remembered how long it takes to grow back. It would take me the better part of a decade and then some to get it back to where it is now, I'm not that patient. I curl a little tighter on my bed and I shake my head as I sniffle. I refuse to cry, it's not right. I feel like I did when I was young and I picked on by the bullies.

He knows lightly, carefully on the door. "Yael, are you in there? Please, I'll take them out of your hair if you want, I'm sorry."

I sniffle again, a little harder and the door clicks open. I can't even bring myself to look at him as he steps inside and closes the door again. At least he understands I want quiet. "I'm sorry, love. I guess it wasn't all that funny an idea… if you'll let me, I'll take them all out of you hair and if you want afterwards, we can dump them in the fireplace and never ever think about this ever again."

I don't move for a few moments before I slowly turn, though only so he'll have access to my hair. I'm not moving from this spot otherwise, I have no reason to. I still find myself sniffling and the need to cry is pressing more heavily against me. It's really like way back then.

He settles on the low bench I keep near my bed and I feel him start to slowly tug, untie and release ribbons from my hair. I press my fist against my mouth for a moment and squeeze my eyes shut. "…the dress was one thing, the confetti another. I can wear frills and lace and even leather but not my hair, it's the only thing I have going for me."

He's quiet while he works but after a moment I can feel him exhale and shake his head lightly. "Yael, you're absolutely gorgeous, everything about you is breathtaking. I'll make sure that we never put anything in your hair unless you really say you're okay with it."

There's a long pause as he pulls a few more ribbons loose and he reaches a bit closer, brushing his fingers to my neck. I shiver slightly and feel the tears finally begin to prick at my eyes. I feel like such a child! What's wrong with me?

"Think you'll still let me help you brush your hair in the morning, one of these days? I know I fucked up and I can't apologize enough, Eoghan looked like he was feeling like shit when I told him he better go and I guess he'll be coming by to apologize in a few days. I'm so sorry."

At least he was sorry, apologetic. It was hard to want to forgive him but I knew I would anyway before too long. He brushes his fingers carefully through my hair and I feel another shiver coming on. "There, they're all out. I'm sorry."

I stay still for another long moment before I finally sit up and turn around. He sees another ribbon that was hidden beneath my head and he carefully undoes it. I look down at him for a long moment, trying to rein in my tears, the wetness I still feel trying to trickle down my cheeks and I once more squeeze my eyes shut.

From my lips, the story of the bullies spill and I hear him catch his breath before he's against me, just holding me and I stiffen for a heartbeat before I merely go lax and cry. It feels absolutely childish to be crying over something that had been so simple but I guess some scars run deeper than others and are triggered by simple things.

  


I don't know how much time pass but I feel him kiss my cheeks, my eyes and my lips ever softly. "Come in, let's put these in the fireplace and burn them to nothing but ashes. After that, if you'll let me, we'll just settle and rest. I know I can't ask you to forgive me so easily but maybe in time it'll come."

Burning these to oblivion sounds like a good plan and I wipe my face as dry as I can. I'll sleep deeply tonight, hopefully not troubled by visions of my past. That would just be pathetic and I've been pathetic enough for today.


	27. Human Spirit

"So this place is haunted?" It does look awfully dusty and mostly abandoned but I have a hard time believing it might be haunted, as our host and mock tour-guide states. I look back to the rest of our little group and my lip quirks somewhat. Quentin and Yael, Lex next to me and a few mortals. Halloween is just one of those things where silliness occurs and since neither Quentin or Yael had really celebrated it before, I had thought it could be a change of pace. That and I was still trying to make up for the ribbon issue we'd had just four days ago. Yael wasn't really talking to me and I know I deserve it, still it stings.

I thought that a tour in one of many supposedly haunted places could be interesting. When mortal dies, some are reborn but some are stuck in place, caught as if in a loop or by chains of sort. I can usually hear them. Their voices tend to be faded, they sound different from everyone else I can hear around me. Though with Lex so close to my shoulder, fingers just brushing mine, everything is pretty hush-hush. It's peaceful.

"Oh yes, very haunted. There are spirits everywhere in this house. We have several different photos depicting these and showing us just where exactly they are. This house has a very grisly story to its name-…" This was bo-oring. Absolutely so. Our tour guide still was droning on but I essentially put him on ignore. I focused my attention to our surroundings. Now if the mortals hadn't been there I would have played a prank or two, then again it might just be funnier with the humans there. I'm a bit worried about Quentin and Yael though, I don't want to spook them too much, I'm still making amends.

So I reach out carefully with my mind, brushing Yael's own and he turns his gaze to me. I can tell this is half a bad idea but he doesn't push me away, lets me brush his thoughts with the barest of whispers. 'I want to have a little spook contest with the mortals, so whatever you hear, it's most likely going to be me, all right?' He looks uncertain for a moment before he nods and he brings his lips to Quentin's ear to tell him what I'd said, or warn him. I don't know if he's told him about my gift. I did ask him to keep it a secret of sorts. Maybe he'll say that it's something I had planned before and had told him about. It was unlikely but it was the only option.

I could feel some energy about this place but it was faint, faded. If there were spirits here they were mostly ready to pass on and be reborn though something or other was holding them back. It wasn't my job to help them along after all. Still if I could have some Halloween fun with these humans then my day wouldn't have been too boring.

  


All it takes is a few bare things. A chair scraping against the floor and hitting the wall, the rattle of some chains and a few bangs before every one, including the tour guide, is running out, leaving us four there. If we'd been like the rest, we more than likely could have sued or something, the guides aren't allowed to leave the house until every single client is outside. Still, I suppose it isn't so bad. We have the place to ourselves though it is quite a bit dusty.

We walk from room to room, I explain things as I sense them, telling them about how such and such person lived here long ago. Eventually Quentin questions how I might know all of these things and I tell him it's part of my gift, that I can hear the voices of those living and dead but that I don't pry into the minds unless I'm invited. He looks a little uncertain but shrugs it off. He steps back to Yael and they hold hand. Hardly because of the ghost factor but merely because they can, it's sweet.

  


When we walk back out of the house, we see not a soul out there. All participants of the group and the guide have utterly fled the scene and I can't help a small laugh. I calm down quickly enough as Lex nudges my shoulder and nods towards Yael. I suppose it's that time and I don't know how I'm going to manage. I haven't actually apologized to his face yet. I've apologized to Quentin who then told Yael but I know it's not enough.

I walk over to the pair and clear my throat slightly. I know Quentin has forgiven me already for the most part but he'll only truly forgive me when Yael will. I sigh and tug my hand briefly through my own short hair. "Can I have a word with Yael, please? Alone if that's possible."

I remember when I spent a week with them at their house, Quentin had glared me to death and threatened harm if I had done anything to Yael and my lips quirk just barely as it crosses my mind. He's glaring at me now but Yael sighs and nods. Quentin walks back to stand to Lex's side but I can see he's less than pleased with where he's at currently. I walk a few paces away with Yael and I lean back slightly against the house.

"There are no words for what happened that day, Yael. At first you didn't say anything so I guess I assumed you didn't mind. When we were done and you reacted poorly I didn't think you really were that uncomfortable about it. I thought you were just sort of playing along. I'm sorry we left you alone that way and I'm sorry we did it at all to begin with."

He looks up to me for a long moment, as if studying me before he sighs but doesn't drop his gaze. "I cherish my hair above all. When I was a kid in the orphanage, some kids cornered me and cut it all off with a pair of scissors. They snipped my ears and scraped my head plenty while they did it. It took almost forever for it to grow back. My hair is just… I feel like it's all I have going for myself and I should have said no when it all started."

I shake my head and yes, idiot as I am, I dare to reach out and brush a loose strand of forest-green dyed hair from his face. "I'm the one who's apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for. It was my stupid idea to begin with and I'm only hoping that you can eventually forgive me for thinking it up."

He shrugs but there is a small, tiny little smile to his lips. "So long as it stays in the past. On another note though, was that you who did the pacing thing above our heads after the other tour folks were gone?"

I blink at him and look back up to the house. "No, I only did the chair and the rattling and the wall bangs because there were objects I could move. I didn't even notice the footsteps after they left. I guess this house might just have a couple of guests still at this point. Or maybe just folks who don't have a roof and are squatting in there. Hard to know. Are you hungry? I could go for something warm to eat right now."

He smiles again and nods, this time his eyes are a little brighter. I think I'm on the road to forgiveness.


	28. Extra Spice

Dear whoever I might be praying to if there was someone out there to pray to, my mouth is on fire and by the look on his face I don't know whether he was planning it of not. He seems rather confused by the taste of the food on his plate. I try to exhale through my nose but it doesn't honestly help. I can feel my eyes begin to water a little from the heat and I push my chair back from the table so I can slip into the kitchen and pour not one but two glasses of milk, one just in case for him.

I put both glasses down on the table and drop back to my chair before taking a single sip of the glass. I'm trying to make it last. I suppose I should have brought the whole thing to the table. He blinks at me and offers a sheepish sort of smile and shrug. I guess he hadn't actually planned this so I can't blame him for the fire currently going on in my mouth. I have to wonder why he doesn't seem to be quite on fire himself, he's taken as much as I have.

"Is this recipe supposed to be so spicy?" Ever word fans the flames of hell in my mouth and I take a big gulp of milk instead. It helps a little and my eyes are a little dryer. He laughs lightly and shakes his head. He looks to be in no heat-pain at all, why am I the only one suffering?

"I have these new peppers growing in the garden and I know they're hot but I didn't know they would hold that much of a kick. I don't find them to be too bad though." Well, then I guess he won't need that glass of water! I pull it back over to my side of the table and I huff at his snickering. Bad idea, that didn't help. I stuff a bit of the potato in my mouth and just keep it there for a few moments before I feel the heat somewhat subside.

My mouth is going to burn itself to oblivion at this point. Dare I really eat that much of it all? It's not a big plate, we never did eat much though we eat some and I screw my eyes shut. He's still chuckling just softly and it should infuriate me but all I want to do at this point is pout at him until he stops though I know he won't.

"I'll prepare you a big bowl of fruits and berries drizzled with sweet honey after this, all right?" That does sound like a pleasant enough idea and I nod before going back to the food. The chicken is the culprit so I try to hide my bites with the rest. The potato, the mixed veggies, a sip of milk. It goes down well enough but by the time I'm done my mouth is still on high heat. My glass of milk is empty so I take the second one and I drink it down in big gulps.

I don't feel so terribly bad now.

  


Once the table is cleared of dishes and I've had my third glass of milk while all he's done is sip on some water, he prepares a couple of bowls of mixed fruit pieces and bites. He drizzles a good bit of honey on mine and sprinkles just a little bit of maple sugar on his. I know he doesn't like sweets. I can I handle sweet better than spicy and he handles spicy better than sweet. It can be worked with in the end.

"You should totally put some of whatever that was in a container and I'll bring it over across. See how they like spicy."

"Now Quentin, don't be evil. Though I suppose it might be worth it. One finally small payback for the ribbons." I know he doesn't hold grudges but this one has stayed with him yet and I don't blame him. I suppose mock payback won't hurt and it might be even funny if it turns out they handle this kind of spicy as poorly as I did.

He settles next to me on the couch with the two bowls of fruit and a small teacup full to the brim of steaming, softly coloured water. He likes his tea after meals and I don't mind, it seems to relax him. We sit side by side, just eating our desserts quietly, listening to the music pouring from the television. We have several 'radio' channels on the television, when we don't feel like watching it, usually we keep it running on one of those channels and it just pours quiet music as background noise through all of the house.

  


He hasn't let me brush his hair since the ribbon incident. It's only been two weeks but it's a long time for me when I usually could brush it every day. So you can colour me very surprised when, after having cleared up the dishes from our dessert, he disappeared back into his room and came back out with his brush. I think my heart almost exploded. This very well was what I wanted to imagine as the final step to forgiveness.

I watch him as he settles on the floor just in front of me and hands me his brush. He turns his gaze to me and he studies me for a long moment. "Be careful."

I'm always careful but I know he's just trying to trust me again. I hold my breath for a moment as I tug, as carefully as I can, his hair loose from its ponytail and I slowly start to run the brush through his long tresses. They are so glossy, so shiny. It took me forever to get mine to look just the way I want it and at times I envy him the beauty of his hair.

My strokes are slow and carefully, I could do this forever really. I feel him start to relax beneath my touch and tears come to my eyes though I do all I can to not let them escape. This means the world to me and I can never forgive myself for hurting him the way I have. I just run the brush in slow strokes, from top to bottom until it all drifts smoothly through the brush's teeth. I sigh and lean down, ready to hand him his brush over but he turns his gaze back to me and he smiles, oh he smiles. "You can keep going for a while."

I consider and I cant my head slightly. This is a wonderful idea but the floor where he's at is cold, I know so I scoot back on the couch slightly. "Here, why don't you lie down and settle your hair on my lap, I'll keep on brushing your hair from this angle, the floor is cold there and I don't want you to get sick."

He ponders the offer for a moment before he stands and stretches and I'm almost afraid to have broken the moment. He holds his hand out. For a moment I think he's asking for his brush back but he's asking for my hand. So I put my hand to his and we get back up. We head off to the wall where the fireplace is. The floor is soft and plushy here and it's more than warm in front of the fireplace. I guess he wants a full head brushing and just a from-the-side thing.

I shake my head, amazed at what life flings my way and as I settle down on the couch, he settles on the floor between my legs. Something flares a little in me, desire for him, but I focus on the brush in my hand, on its slow strokes through his hair and on those sweet little sigh of pleasure and contentment he breathes. I have no words for how much I appreciate this kind of life we have. It's just perfect.


End file.
